But You're Still Magic
by kittyzero
Summary: Gaara's life at home could be worse. But the life he has now isn't so great. What will happen when Mr. Hatake gets too comfortable? And what about the little boy with the black hair he used to hang out with? Will he ever see him again? Yaoi. Rape
1. Chapter 1

But You're Still Magic

**A/N:**New Story. It was highly inspired by the book Lost Souls, written by Poppy Z. Brite.

**Disclaimer:**No, I do not own any of the characters, so on and so forth. I by chance a character resembles a true person, it was by pure coincidence.

* * *

Chapter One

It was only six-thirty in the afternoon, and I was already in sweats, ready for bed. I absolutely hated my life. I looked out the window, watching as the sun began to lower in the sky. It was like this all the time. I should have been used to it by now. But that didn't mean I like it.

There was a light knock on my door."Gaara? "

I sighed. It was my sister. "Come in, Temari."

Temari stepped in, her hands behind her back, "I'm sorry about dad. You know how stressful his job is."

I couldn't help but scoff. "Difficult? He sits at a desk all day, stamping and signing papers. Dad's not stressed. Dad hates me."

Temari sat next to me, and rubbed my shoulder soothingly. I turned to face her, my stomach growling, my mouth starting to water. I could smell food. It had been two days since I had eaten. My dad denied me food as a punishment for things I did that he didn't approve of; which was _everything_.

Temari bit her lip, handing me a cold grilled cheese sandwich. "Sorry. It was all I could get my hands on without him noticing."

I took it and hugged her. "It's fine. Thank you," I swallowed down the knot in my throat.

She kissed the top of my head and ruffled my hair. "I should go. Do you need anything else?"

I shook my head, swallowing the huge piece of sandwich I had bitten off. "No, I'm fine. Thanks again, Temari."

She sighed, and flashed me a sad smile before closing the door behind her. I bit the inside of my cheek, refusing to cry.

My situation was a complicated one. Technically, I was part of the Subaku family. I was the youngest of three children; only sixteen. My brother Kankuro was eighteen, my sister barely twenty. My mother, well, I didn't know much about her. Just that she had died while giving birth to me. That's why my father hated me. Most kids my age always go through a phase where they claim that theirs parents hate them. But I wasn't going through any kind of phase. My father truly did hate me. He reminded me of that any chance he got. Along with the beatings, harsh, ridiculous punishments, and the fact that he had me home-schooled so that the least amount of people knew I even existed. And that didn't include the fact that he liked to stare me, forced me to clean up after him and my siblings, and ignore me when he wasn't punishing me. He was still my father though, and in a way, I loved him. If only I could find a way to make him love me back.

I stuck the last piece of sandwich in my mouth, chewed it quickly, and swallowed. Hopefully this could keep me going until he decided I was worthy of food again. I sighed and got up to shut my dark curtains. The sun was still in the sky, shining high and bright. I then curled under my blankets, hugging myself, waiting for sleep to come. I had to get up early and do laundry tomorrow.

***

It was seven thirty-two in the morning. I had just finished serving my dad his breakfast, and was now loading some clothes in the washer when the doorbell rang.

"Gaara, you're tutor is here," my dad's tone was flat, annoyed.

"C-coming," I threw in the damp clothes into the dryer, slammed the door shut and pressed Start.

My tutor was a younger, handsome man. Possibly late twenties, maybe very early thirties. He had a strong, sharp jaw, with serious and piercing eyes. What I liked most about him was how he styled his hair. The silver madness was somehow angled to the side, as if defying gravity. Kakashi Hatake was a heart-throb for all the girls at school. Why he decided to tutor me, I never knew.

I opened the door. "Good morning, Mr. Hatake. Please come in."

He nodded once, his hand running through his wild hair.

"In here Kakashi," my father demanded.

Mr. Hatake walked into the kitchen, sitting across from my dad at the table.

"Some tea, Kakashi? Or coffee maybe" my dad looked down at his paper as he spoke.

I stood by them, waiting for a response. "Some tea would be great, thanks."

"Gaara…" my father waved me away.

"Right," I scurried away obediently, getting Mr. Hatake's tea, and setting it in front of him.

"Thank you, Gaara."

My father suddenly glared up at me. "Now go. I need to speak to your teacher about a private matter."

I nodded, nervously brushing my bright red hair from my eyes," Should I wait upstairs?"

Mr. Hatake turned to face me. "Just go grab your things and meet me in the living room. This shouldn't take long."

I nodded again, and walked away. I came back down a few minutes later, books and homework at hand. Just as I sat down, Mr. Hatake and my dad walked in.

"Temari has to work late, as do I. Kankuro will be busy at school, and so Kakashi will look after you. Understood?"

"Yes, sir." How weird. I was always left alone. What was so special about this time?

My dad glared at me, a stiff, steady finger pointed in my direction. "You do as he says."

I gulped. "Y-Yes, sir."

"Good. Have a nice day, Kakashi."

"Good day to you too, sir," Mr. Hatake waited until the front door to shut before he sat next to me.

"How are you Gaara?" a small smirk played on his lips.

I shrugged. "I'm alright. And yourself?"

Mr. Hatake grinned wider. "Just fine, Gaara. Thank you. So, did you have any questions about last night's homework?"

"No," I felt so small next to him all of the sudden.

Mr. Hatake stood six feet tall compared to my five feet, three inches. Now I knew why girls liked him so much. He really was handsome. He was lean, yet muscular, very smart, and charismatic. He made me feel puny and awkward with my bright red hair, and dull green eyes. I was the outcast, the loner. He was every girl's, and probably some guy's, fantasy. I bit my lip when he chuckled.

"You're probably the best student I've ever had. You work hard, and you never make me repeat myself. Listen, today is just review. You're having a test tomorrow. Did you want me to go over anything in specific, or do you think you'll do okay?"

I grinned. "You're the teacher. What you say goes."

He sighed, and very quietly mumbled. "I hope so…"

Mr. Hatake then exhaled sharply. The sound surprised me. He sounded stressed. Why would he be stressed?

"Okay, I guess we'll skip the review then. How about we start a new Science chapter?"

I shrugged. "Sure. On what?"

Mr. Hatake cleared his throat. "The Human Anatomy."


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay, I guess we'll skip the review then. How about we start a new Science chapter?"

I shrugged. "Sure. On what?"

Mr. Hatake cleared his throat. "The Human Anatomy."

I frowned, a little uneasy about his sudden change in behavior. I clenched my jaw when Mr. Hatake reached out, cupping my jaw, stroking it gently.

"This is your jaw…also known as…?"

"M-mandible?"

Mr. Hatake's hand slipped down along my neck, his fingers slipping under the collar of my shirt.

"This is called your clavicle," he whispered, caressing the thin bone.

"Do you know what you call the knee?" he asked, placing his hand just there.

I licked my lips. "Patella."

He nodded, "And this bone?"

Mr. Hatake's hand slid up my inner thigh. My body went rigid. He then pressed his nose to the side of my neck.

"The femur," I whispered, my voice shaky.

My body broke out in goose bumps when Mr. Hatake sighed against the back of my ear. "Very good…" he nearly groaned.

He then took my hand and placed my palm against the bulge in his pants. I gasped, suddenly beyond uncomfortable.

Mr. Hatake licked my lips, kissing me fully on the mouth. "Well, that's not _technically_ a bone. But it comes up in the chapter."

I ground my teeth. What was he doing?

Mr. Hatake kissed me again, forceful and eager. He held my hand still when I tried pulling away, grinding himself against my palm. I pulled my face away, only to be pushed down on my back. He was kissing me again, his tongue forcing its way past my teeth and into my mouth. I wedged my arm between us, trying to push him off.

Mr. Hatake pulled back, my jaw squeezed between two very strong fingers. "Didn't your dad ask you to do as I asked?"

My eyes welled up with tears. "Yeah, but-"

"No. Now lay still," he was pushing my pants down.

I didn't dare fight him. Not if it meant getting in trouble with my father. I suppose I'd have to endure this.

I bit down on my fist when he pushed himself deep inside me, big, fat tears rolling off the side of my face. I could feel him as he rammed into me, over and over; it was like being ripped apart from the inside out. I tried my hardest not to make a big fuss, but the pain was unbearable. I grit my teeth, groaning, writhing in pain. Eventually, my wailing sobs matched Mr. Hatake's moans and pants. With one last low moan, the thrusting stopped. I lay perfectly still, too scared to move. It started getting hard to breathe when Mr. Hatake wouldn't get off me.

I cried silently as he kissed along the side of my neck. I had trusted him. How could he do this? I would have done what he asked of me. He didn't have to hurt me. I gasped, my eyes slipping shut as he pulled out. Mr. Hatake hovered over me, his lips grazing mine.

"P-Please…don't cry," he kissed me gently.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I turned away. I cried harder, my voice hoarse from all the screaming. "Why would you take advantage of me like this? I've never done anything to you."

"Oh, Gaara-"

"Was this what you and my dad were talking about?" I nearly screamed it at him, but my throat hurt.

He sat up and nodded.

"Just go away, please."

"No, Gaara, let me explain." He slipped on his pants as he said this.

"No! I don't want to hear it. You should really go, Mr. Hatake. I have a lot to do today."

He nodded and cleared his throat. "Right," he then finished getting dressed.

I sat up on the couch, falling back and groaning at the stinging, throbbing pain in me. Mr. Hatake rushed to help me.

"Oh, get off! This is your fault, remember?"

It hurt to sit. I bit my lip, and got up as fast as I could. That was just as bad as moving slowly. I ignored my suddenly shy tutor, smoothing out my T-shirt, and zipping up my jeans.

"Shall I postpone the test?" he asked quietly.

I let out a shaky breath. "No. Let's just get it over with."

Mr. Hatake reached over, wiping my face. He then kissed the corner of my mouth and pressed his lips against my ear. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I'll be careful next time."

I glared a hole in his back as he walked away. Next time? This was only the first time? Why didn't my dad just ship me off to military school!? It would probably be better than this!

"Jerk!" I hissed, my hands balled into fists at my sides.

I fell to my knees, regretting the move due to the pain it caused, but I stayed there. What had I don't to deserve this kind of treatment? Oh, yeah. I killed my own mother. I sat there and cried for the next half hour. I hated this.

After my little fit, I finished my chores and got myself cleaned up. I felt sticky and just plain dirty.

I stood in front of the refrigerator, reading the note that Temari had left me.

_Gaara, _

_ Would you please go to the grocery store for me? I'll cook dinner tonight. Save you the trouble. Get some rice, baby corn, chicken, lettuce, broccoli, and some peas. I left the money in the cookie jar. Grab yourself something while you're out. Oh, and throw this note away after you read it._

_ Love,_

_ T._

I smiled to myself. She could be so sweet. I took the note down, and instead of throwing it away, I folded it and stuck it in my back pocket. Even though she offered, I knew I'd end up cooking for tonight. She got home after dad, and if he found out I let her cook, he'd kill me. I grabbed the money, my keys, a jacket, and headed out.

I watched my feet as I walked down the lonely sidewalk. I felt self-conscious in public sometimes. My mind wandered, replaying what Mr. Hatake had done earlier. I mindlessly touched the bite mark he had left on my stomach. Sure it had hurt, but he had wanted me. From what I heard, Mr. Hatake rarely dated. Did he have high standards? Then why pick me? I felt confused and angry, yet slightly flattered. Was that wrong? My skin crawled as I thought of how much he had hurt me. But had he come on to me in a less aggressive way, I might have done anything he asked. No, I knew I would have done it. What did that mean?

"Hey!" I gasped, stumbling back as I crashed into someone.

He grabbed my upper arm, steadying me.

I gulped, startled. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

He ran his fingers through his long black hair. "No worries. Be careful though. You could have fallen really hard."

I nodded. "Yeah, sorry."I grinned at him, and continued to walk.

The streets got a little more crowded as I passed the suburban limits. I crossed the street and headed towards a small grocery store I always shopped at. I grabbed what I needed, and then bought myself something to eat. A full, warm belly was a pleasant change.

It was three in the afternoon by the time I got back. Kankuro would be home in about an hour; my father in four. I placed everything on the counter, and got cooking.

I sighed as I made my way up to my room. Just as expected, my dad didn't let me have dinner. Bless Temari. After Kankuro left the table, he called me back downstairs.

"Fix me a drink," he demanded.

I gave a little bow, and set off to retrieve a cup and the sake. I served it, placed it in front of him, and started to walk away.

"Wait…"

My back tensed. This could not be good. I walked back over to him. "Yes?"

"How was school?" his tone was mocking.

I bit my lip. "Different."

He sipped his sake. "I see. Anything _special_ happen?"

"Um, we started a new chapter," _Sort of_, I thought to myself.

"And…?"

"Uh, it was Science."

My dad turned to glare at me. He huffed before asking," Do you know where I'm heading with this, Gaara?"

I gulped. "I think so."

"So…then tell me," he lit a cigarette and took a long drag.

"I-I'm not sure what you want to hear."

He nearly growled. "Did you do as Kakashi asked?"

"Y-Yes," it came out as a pathetic whimper.

"Good," he took another sip, "Keep it up, and I might get out of having to actually pay for your damn education."

"What?!" I was shocked.

I probably should have stayed quiet. In one swift move, my dad slapped me once across my face. I grit my teeth, tasting blood.

"Go to bed. You're annoying me."

I licked the blood off my lip, turned on my heel, and struggled to keep from stomping upstairs.

Once in my room, I locked my door, and climbed into the comfort of my bed. I grabbed the nearest pillow, and screamed into it. Hot angry tears spilled out, tickling my nose. I gripped at my sheets, waiting for the anger to subside.

I had done what he asked. I had done nothing wrong. Why did he have to go and hit me for obeying him?

Finally, I rolled on my back and wiped my face. I was exhausted. Tomorrow would be a stressful day. There was my test, and then actually having to deal with Kakashi. My eyes slipped shut as I slowly fell asleep, disturbing thoughts lulling me to unconsciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

But You're Still Magic...

**A/N:** Okay, so I realize I might have ended in a weird spot, but I thought the rest led on to too many other things. So enjoy what you have. And F.Y.I. I love guys with blue hair :)

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Chapter Three

RECAP

_I probably should have stayed quiet. In one swift move, my dad slapped me once across my face. I grit my teeth, tasting blood._

_"Go to bed. You're annoying me."_

_I licked the blood off my lip, turned on my heel, and struggled to keep from stomping upstairs._

_Once in my room, I locked my door, and climbed into the comfort of my bed. I grabbed the nearest pillow, and screamed into it. Hot angry tears spilled out, tickling my nose. I gripped at my sheets, waiting for the anger to subside._

_I had done what he asked. I had done nothing wrong. Why did he have to go and hit me for obeying him?_

_Finally, I rolled on my back and wiped my face. I was exhausted. Tomorrow would be a stressful day. There was my test, and then actually having to deal with Kakashi. My eyes slipped shut as I slowly fell asleep, disturbing thoughts lulling me to unconsciousness._

* * *

My head was pounding the next morning. It took me ten minutes to roll off my bed and start getting ready. I was just about done dressing myself when I heard my dad calling for me. I ran downstairs, nearly slipping in the process.

"Y-Yes?" I panted.

"The door." He pointed towards it, not looking up at me when he spoke.

I looked in the direction he was pointing and grimaced. It was Kakashi. I had taken up the habit of thinking of him as Kakashi lately. I didn't believe he deserved to be referred to as Mr. Hatake anymore. I growled quietly, slowly making my way to the door.

"Good morning, Gaara. How are you?" he sounded a bit nervous.

I shrugged, and walked away. Kakashi cleared his throat, let himself in, and closed the door behind him.

"Good morning Mr. Subaku. How are you doing, sir?" Kakashi stood in the hallway as he spoke to my dad.

"I'm doing well, Kakashi. I'm doing very well. How are classes going?"

I rolled my eyes as I listened quietly from the living room. Kakashi shifted his weight from foot to foot. "As planned…uh, sir."

My father snorted. "Good. Well, I'm off to work. Make sure he does well. I will not have him fail in his studies as well."

_As well?_ What else did I fail in? Life?

Kakashi nodded. "Of course, Mr. Subaku. Have a nice day." Kakashi gave a little bow and walked into the living room.

I watched him as he set his stuff down. He was flushed. Kakashi exhaled sharply and sat in the armchair across from me. He removed his jacket, and leaned back, his eyes closed. I frowned. This guy was wasting my time.

"When will I be taking the test?" I asked, making my annoyance clear.

Kakashi opened his eyes, peeking over at me. "I'm sorry. I forgot it. I woke up late. We'll have to postpone it until Monday."

"Then I guess there really isn't much reason for you to be here, is there?" I focused on my lap, apprehensive.

"Actually, I have a few things for you. We could review. Then I'd like to start some new chapters. You know, cover new materials."

"Let's hope it a different subject from yesterdays," I mumbled.

Kakashi laughed. "It is. We'll be covering some literature. Tolstoy, Poe, maybe some Shakespeare if you'd like."

"I'll stick with Tolstoy and Poe. Shakespeare's too idealistic for my taste." In actuality, I loved Shakespeare. But I didn't want Kakashi to grab hold of that and ruin Shakespeare for me.

He grinned. "Then after all of that, maybe we can go over some of yesterday's topics."

I frowned. "I'll stick with Tolstoy and Poe."

Kakashi chuckled quietly, and leaned forward. "You don't get it, do you?"

"G-Get what…?"

"You _have_ to do as I say. No matter the request. You know it, I know it. Whether it is write 5,000 words, read Poe, recite Shakespeare, sit there, _lay _here, _touch_ there. You will do it, and you will not complain. Now, pick up your damn book and turn to page 93. I rarely work for any other kind of currency. If you don't like how I'm getting _paid_, talk to your father. So, tell me, why haven't you picked up your book?"

I was stunned. I had no choice. Either I did as Kakashi said, or face my father. I'd much rather deal with Kakashi. My chances in survival were greater.

I turned away. "I'm sorry."

He sighed. "Go on, Gaara. Turn to page 93. I'm starting to get anxious."

Kakashi and I then read two chapters of _The Death of Ivan Ilych_, explaining what was sort of going on afterwards.

"So, how do you think Ivan views death?"

I shrugged. "He's in denial. It seems as though he believes he doesn't deserve to die."

"Exactly. What about his family? What do you think about that?"

I scoffed, crossing my arms neatly over my chest. "I can relate to that, alright. They've basically abandoned him! Branded him as a burden instead of helping him in his time of need. What kind of family ignores a dying man? He's clearly hurting, clearly troubled. It's selfish. It's cruel."

Kakashi licked his lips. "You seem angry."

"I am! It's wrong. It's immoral." I crossed my arms tighter.

"You're unbelievably adorable when you're angry…" his voice was low, husky.

I gulped. I knew what was coming next. I needed to stall him.

"Um, I have a few questions about Mondays test."

"Mm-hmm. What is it?" he linked his fingers on his lap.

I gulped again, not sure what to say. "Uh…what's on the test?"

Kakashi smiled. "I gave you a handout telling you that exact information. And didn't you say you were confident you'd pass the test?"

"Well…I'm nervous now. And I lost the handout," I started to get fidgety. Even though I was good at it, I always hated lying.

Kakashi got up and sat next to me. "You're lying."

Well, I thought I was good at it. Now what did I do?

"Admit it. You're trying to distract me."

I looked away, blushing. "I'm sorry. I'm just uncomfortable with this."

Kakashi kissed my cheek, his lips lingering there. "Forgive me. That's my fault."

My eyes began to tear up. Kakashi pressed his lips to my ear. "I hurt you yesterday…didn't I?"

I sniffled, nodding slowly. My skin tingled when he sighed against it. I shied away when he kissed me.

"Please…"

He frowned. "Please, What?"

I swallowed down the knot in my throat. "Don't. Just don't. Please, Mr. Hatake. It hurt. It still hurts."

Kakashi cupped my jaw, his lips brushing mine, "It doesn't have to. I was overwhelmed yesterday. I wasn't in control. You just…you felt so amazing. Everything about you was amazing. You skin, your taste, every sound you made. And then your heart, Gaara. Oh, your heart! It beat so fast. I could feel it trying to burst through your chest," he pecked my lips.

He grabbed my face in between his hands, making me look at him. "Trust me, Gaara. I can make it feel really good."

I looked up at him from under moist eyelashes. "Why me, Mr. Hatake?"

He smiled. "Please, call me Kakashi. I've always hated the formal titles."

I dropped the question. Why he had picked me didn't matter. He had and that's what counted.

"Gaara, was that your first time yesterday?" he whispered his question, his fingers gently touching my face.

I tried to pull away, embarrassed, but he held me there. "Gaara…?" he urged.

"Yes…"I croaked, my voice suddenly failing me.

"Oh, my! How awful must I have made you feel?"

I tried my hardest not to, but I couldn't stop crying.

"Let me make it up to you. I promise it'll be much better. Oh, look at you," he kissed me with such intensity, I almost kissed back.

Kakashi pulled away gently. "Let's go upstairs, shall we?"

I sighed, "Do I have much of a choice?"

He smiled. "You won't regret it."

Kakashi pulled me off the couch and followed me up to my room. Instantly, he kicked off his shoes and sat down.

Kakashi looked around, his eyes finally landing on me."It's very…you. I like it."

I grinned and closed the door.

"Lock it," he demanded quietly.

I bit my lip, hesitantly doing as he asked. Now that I paid close attention, I was nervous about this. Excited…

Kakashi motioned me over with one finger. It took me a few long seconds to actually move, but I was soon standing in front of him. I felt like an idiot, my face hot, and my hands shaky. Kakashi grabbed me from the front of my jeans, and pulled me towards him, undoing my belt. He then slowly unbuttoned my jeans, letting them drop at my feet. I tensed when I heard the clink of my chains hit the ground. Kakashi slid his hands over my lower stomach and then up, under my shirt.

He moistened his lips slowly with his tongue. "You're so soft."

I bit the inside of my cheek, shy and self-conscious. Kakashi gripped my hips, pulling me in towards him mouth. He kissed my stomach, his hot breath making me shudder.

"Lift them up," I raised my arms as he pulled my T-shirt off, giving him more access to me.

Kakashi pressed his nose against my stomach, breathing in deeply. He kissed me from hip bone to hip bone, up towards my ribs, and back across. I shivered when he licked up the middle of my abdomen.

"What are you-"

"Just go along with it. You have to trust me, Gaara. I won't hurt you"

At that moment, I didn't care what he did to me. I was hurting already. How was it possible that this person could make me feel more loved than my own family ever could? I felt angry and betrayed, and all I could think about was Kakashi's tongue against my skin.

I let out a small groan. "I trust you."

He smiled, pulled on the elastic on my boxers and dropped them on the floor. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly through my nose. I could feel him staring at me. _All_ of me.

"How-How old did you say you were, exactly?" he sounded breathless.

"Sixteen and a half," I opened my eyes and was shocked to find him blushing.

Kakashi chuckled. "Sorry. I just didn't expect you to be so…developed."

I took a step back, my face matching my hair. It was obvious it was a compliment, but I rarely got those and didn't know how to react.

"Lay down, Gaara," Kakashi grinned at me.

I focused on my feet as I walked towards him, slowly getting on my bed. Kakashi pulled off his shirt and pants, and climbed in bed with me.

_Stay clam, Gaara. Just…stay calm._

"Do you want me to just do whatever comes to mind, or did you want to try something in specific?"

I almost laughed. What a question to ask someone as inexperienced as me. Instead of saying anything, I shrugged.

He smiled. "Right. We'll keep it simple."

I concentrated on breathing slowly, deeply. Kakashi hovered over me, his hands on either side of my shoulders. He grabbed my left hand, kissed my palm, and wrapped it around his neck. I inhaled sharply when he kissed me, his soft wet lips covering mine. Kakashi parted his mouth, darting his tongue out and licking my bottom lip before slipping it in my mouth. I used the hand he had placed around his neck to pull him closer to me. He was always so intense, so heated. I was surprised to find out that I really enjoyed kissing him.

A low moan escaped us both and he ground himself against me. He pulled back, causing me to groan in protest.

"I need you to relax for a bit Gaara. Can you do that?"

I frowned when he stuck two fingers in his mouth. "Um…Sure."

My eyes widened when Kakashi probed at my entrance with the fingers he had just pulled out of his mouth.

"Relax," he mumbled when he felt me tense up.

I bit my bottom lip, worried about what was about to happen. Kakashi pushed his fingers inside me, causing me to grunt in discomfort.

I coughed lightly. "I thought you said this, mmm…wouldn't, oh…hurt."

"Compared to yesterday, this should be nothing."

The pain was long gone. I hadn't even heard what Kakashi had said. He dove his fingers in deeper, making me moan. The disappointment of his pulling them away was beyond words. Kakashi then positioned himself between my legs, grabbing the back of my knees and pushing them up a fraction.

He kissed me." Stay relaxed."

My back arched as he pushed inside me. He groaned in my ear as he penetrated deeper. I gasped for air, my entire body on as if on fire. Kakashi thrust slowly at first, feeling me out. I wasn't sure what he was doing. He then touched something. Something sensitive that almost caused me to black out. It felt…good.

No, good didn't cover it. Words didn't cover it. Except for, apparently, this was sex. I clawed at his back, moaning, wanting him closer.

"Found it…" he whispered, confusing me.

I didn't care. He kept hitting that same spot dead-on and it felt too good for me to care. Who knows how long we were there. Too long, probably. I wasn't sure. And I didn't care to find out. Time didn't matter while with Kakashi. All that mattered was how Kakashi was moving inside me. How he was moving, how fast, and how hard he did it.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, he took a hold of me. His grip was firm as he pumped me. For a second, I didn't know where I was. I could have died, and it wouldn't have mattered. I lost myself. I was moving in ways new to me. The sounds that came from me where strange, but fit somehow.

Then Kakashi was kissing me. Gently and so loving. Everything got faster after that. Faster and louder and better. I felt myself convulse, heard the low moan I let out. For a split second, I think I did black out. And then I was warm. Inside and out. Kakashi got off, panting. A chill ran over me, causing me to shiver. My eyes slipped shut. I felt tired. Good, but tired. Kakashi pecked my cheek. I peeked over at him and grinned.

"Sleep…" he mumbled, wrapping one arm around me.

He didn't have to tell me twice. I think I was asleep before my eyes shut all the way.


	4. Chapter 4

But You're Still Magic…

Brand new. it's most of everything. don't blame me. my computer exploded. not literally. but yeah... please excuse any typos, weird things that pop up or any notes. this was an overwhelming post.

* * *

Chapter 4+

The cool breeze on my back woke me up. I sat up and looked around, finding myself alone.

I cleared my throat. "Kakashi?"

Nothing. I got up and put my clothes on. Where had he gone?

It was really cold in my house. I wrapped my arms tightly around myself and I walked downstairs.

"Kakashi?" I called again.

"Oh! I'm in here," he was in the kitchen.

I stood, leaning against the door frame, watching him. Kakashi looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"Sorry. My stomach woke me. Are you hungry?"

I walked over to the sink, and picked up a clean mug. "Not really. I think I'll just get some coffee."

"Coffee? You're sixteen. Aren't you supposed to be drinking soda or powdered drinks or something?"

I poured myself some of the freshly made coffee." I don't know. I've never been a normal teenager. Come to think of it, I don't really drink anything besides water. This, itself, is a treat," I sipped the scalding, black liquid.

"Well, you always seemed mature for your age. Come, sit down," he picked up his own mug, and sat at the table.

I followed suit, sitting at the end, adjacent from him. I sat there so lost in my own thoughts, I didn't realize Kakashi had been staring at me. Once I noticed, I hunched my shoulders and cleared my throat.

"What?" I asked, my face burning.

He smiled, sipping his coffee." Nothing."

"Then why are you staring?"

Kakashi chuckled. "I was just studying your face."

"M-My face?" I scoffed.

"Mm-hmm. It's changed since I first saw you five years ago. You were so little, so adorable," he smiled wider, "You still are."

"What do you mean five years ago? I met you once you started home schooling me, which was like two years ago. How did you-"

"I worked at your school. I was a fifth grade substitute teacher. So, that's why you never saw me. You were already in the seventh grade."

"So you would see me at school, _before_ I officially met you?"

He nodded. "Everyday I saw you. You were always alone, or with a little boy who had black hair. But that all stopped when your father pulled you out of school."

"Sasuke…"

"What?" he sipped his coffee again.

"That was his name. The boy with the black hair; Sasuke. He was my only friend. He was the only one who didn't make fun of me for having red hair."

Kakashi chuckled. "What happened to him?"

"His family moved away after two months of knowing him. We were devastated when we found out he was leaving. We had promised to write to each other all the time. But we forgot to exchange addresses," I smiled at the sad memory.

Kakashi sighed, and stoked my face. "I'm sorry, love."

I grinned, shrugging it off. "We only knew each other two months. I was only thirteen at the time."

He laughed quietly. "You're cheeks were fuller then."

_Yeah, because I ate more often_, I thought to myself. Kakashi squeezed my cheeks together with one hand. I giggled, and pulled away.

"Your jaw is more defined as well. Strong, sharp," he kissed from the underside of my jaw up to my ear.

I sighed. "It's a little weird that you'd notice these things. You're saying you first saw me when I was twelve or thirteen, right?"

"Yes. I couldn't help myself. I wanted you so bad. But I obviously had to keep my distance. Up until I heard you needed a tutor, of course. I had to take the job, right when I heard about it."

"That's sort of sick."

He frowned. "Don't say that…"

I licked my lips. "But I'm much worse."

"What? Why do you say that?"

"For some reason, the fact that you decided you wanted me right then-at such a young age- doesn't bother me one bit. I find it sort of flattering. I think that makes it worse."

Kakashi kissed my lips. "I don't think it's sick."

I chuckled. "Of course you don't. You're the one getting laid."

Kakashi choked on his coffee. "How bold…"

"Has anyone found out about this? Besides my father, of course," I frowned at the thought.

"Yes…unfortunately. My girlfriend at the time, she found out about my little _obsession_. It didn't end well, to say the least."

"Girlfriend? I-I thought you were-"

"I like both. If I'm attracted to a person, gender doesn't usually matter. It's not a big deal to me whether I'm dating a man or a woman."

I remained quiet for a bit, thinking. "What does that say about me?"

"Have you ever been attracted to a woman, or girl, in your case?"

I shook my head. "They never caught my attention."

"How about another boy?"

I exhaled sharply." Sort of. Maybe. I don't know…"

Kakashi ran his fingers through my hair. "You'll figure it out. You will," he assured me.

By noon, Kakashi had already gone home. I stood at the foyer, zipping up my jacket. I grabbed my keys; made sure I had enough money, and stepped out. As I got to the sidewalk, I tried putting my keys into my pocket, but dropped them. I growled, low in my throat, and bent over to pick them up.

"Whoa!" a guy with long black hair bumped into me.

I shot back up, completely embarrassed. "Oh, man! I am so sorry!"

He chuckled. "Don't worry about it," he passed me, and kept on walking," Just be careful with that position. It could get you in trouble," he called over his shoulder.

I bit my lip, Kakashi flashing in my mind. The guy kept walking, not bothering to look back at me anymore.

"Hmm…" I sighed, walking slowly. He seemed oddly familiar.

He was long gone, now. He had crossed the main road, and disappeared into a large crowd. I brushed the thought aside, and made my way to my destination.

I paced down an aisle at a small grocery store I loved to shop at, looking for the stuff I needed. I scanned the various kinds of bags of rice, not finding the one I needed. My dad only ate Jasmine rice.

I groaned. "Damn…"

I looked down the aisle, hoping to see an employee that could help me out. Nothing. I looked the other way.

"Oh! E-excuse me. Can you help me out, please?" I walked over to the crouching figure, stocking bags of spaghetti.

He looked up, staring at me with those intense, black eyes.

I gasped, my hand shooting up to the base of my throat. I'd know those eyes anywhere.

"Sasuke?"

He straightened up, grinning shyly.

"Hi," he linked his hands behind his back.

"You-You're back! Since when? How've you been?" I couldn't stop smiling.

Sasuke chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I've been okay. Uh, I've been here about a month now."

"Oh, wow! And how long have you been working here? I come here all the time. I've never seen you." I bit my lower lip, suddenly nervous.

"Not long. Two weeks. How have you been?"

I licked my lips. "Fine. Just…getting by, you know?"

Surprisingly, he nodded. "I'm sorry for not looking for you once I got here. I didn't see you at school, and I wasn't sure you'd even remember me," he gave a little giggle.

I shook my head. "Don't worry yourself about it. I'm being home schooled lately."

A blush spread across my face and Kakashi came to mind again.

"No way. That's really cool. Do you have to get up early, like for regular school? Or do you get to sleep in because you're at home?"

"Yeah, unfortunately. Speaking of _home_, I have to start dinner soon. Do you know where the Jasmine rice is? Sorry to make you do this…," my feet shuffled nervously beneath me.

"Oh, no, no! It's my job. I'll go get a bag from the back. Uh, how much of it do you want?" Sasuke pushed his bangs aside.

"The smallest one you have, please."

He smiled. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

I watched Sasuke as he walked away, studying his stride. My face burned as realization hit me full force. He was the guy I had bumped into in front of my house! Not only this time, but last time as well.

Oh, wow. He looked exactly the same. Well, aside from his defined jaw, almost all the childhood roundness gone. He was the same shy, quiet Sasuke.

I stood there, zoned out, remembering the short time we spent sitting under the shady maple tree at school. It had been quite a task to get him to trust me. But in the end, I ended up being the _only_ person he trusted.

"Here you go," he grinned at me, handing me the plastic bag.

I blinked a few times, took it, and smiled." Thank you."

Sasuke nodded once, his bottom lip sucked in between his teeth. I then had the sudden urge to hug him. I wanted to tell him that I had missed him. I wanted to invite him to dinner and catch up. But that was near impossible.

"I-I should go," I took a hesitant step back.

"Will I see you again?" he peeked up at me from behind his hair.

"Well, I come here all the time. So, I hope so," I chuckled lightly, waving good bye as I walked away.

"Gaara! Wait…" his voice was small, unsure.

I turned back around. "Yeah?"

"Maybe you can come over to my house when you get a chance. I'm at 311 Oak Ridge Road, about a half a mile from here. I'd really like to see you again," he fidgeted with the apron he was wearing.

I sighed. "I don't know. I have a lot to do back at home, all the time. I might-"

"Just try. It won't matter if you don't actually make it. Just…try? Please. I've…," he blushed," I've missed you."

I felt a crooked, stupid grin spread across my face. "I'll give it a try. 311 Oak Ridge Road, right?"

He nodded. "An older woman will answer. Mrs. Ichigo. Just ask for me, i-if you go."

"Mrs. Ichigo? Have I met her?"

Sasuke's face went flat. "No you haven't, actually."

I frowned lightly." Okay, then. I'll see you."

Kankuro had walked in right when I turned off the stove.

"Hey. Whatcha make?" he kicked off his shoes in the kitchen, leaving mud everywhere.

I gaped at him as he sat at the table. "What's with the mud?"

He laughed. "The sprinklers went off during practice. Got the whole field all wet and muddy. Clean it up, will you?"

I exhaled slowly, utterly annoyed. "I suppose…"

I served Kankuro his meal, and then went to grab the mop. Just my luck. He had tracked mud all the way out to the steps in the front porch.

After cleaning up after my pig of a brother, and washing the dishes, I went upstairs. I pulled the sheets off my bed, and threw them in the washing machine, turned it on and added soap. Now all that was left was to serve my dad and Temari, wash their dishes, and hopefully get to bed early.

My father had other plans though. He decided to have a few friends over. And so I was forced to stay up and play waiter. Everything was going fine, up until I heard he had lost 100 dollars to his co-worker in a card game. Tonight would not end well, and the thought filled me with terror.

Being as afraid, and anxious as I was, made me clumsy. I ended up spilling one of the drinks. My dad laughed it off, his eyes droopy, his cheeks red from the alcohol.

"Yes, yes. Good night. I'll see you all Monday," my dad stood at the door waving as his friends left.

I stood in the dining area, clearing away the dip and sticky cups.

"Gaara…" his voice was strained, angry.

My back tensed, my hands trembling horribly. I turned to face him, my eyes focused on the floor. He grabbed my face, making me gasp in panic. I groaned as he squeezed my jaw between his fingers.

"You worthless piece of shit." He hissed.

I choked on a sob. His grip was unbelievably painful. He laughed as I sniffled, stray tears trickling down to his fingers. My cheeks were now digging into my teeth. I could taste blood.

"I hate you…." I could smell the alcohol in his breath," I fucking _despise_ you!"

He threw me back against the table. I gasped for breath as my back hit the wood, knocking the breath out of me. Plates, cups, and chips came crashing down around me.

"Ow…" I rolled around on the floor for a bit, willing the pain to subside, and for air to reach my lungs.

"You sick fuck," he jammed his foot against my chest.

"You disgusting little faggot," his foot came down hard against my ribs, over and over.

I yelped in pain, managing to cower into a tight ball. My dad grabbed me by the hair, straightening me up and throwing me against the floor again. I saw black and white spots when he kicked me in the jaw. The pain of him beating me was so bad, I hardly noticed the glass shards lodged into my arms and back. At some point, I ended up on my stomach, sputtering blood and spit onto the wooden floor. He placed the toe of his shoe on my head, pressing down. I stared at the four figures I saw, already half unconscious. Then…darkness.

"Gaara? Gaa-oh, my goodness! Gaara, wake up honey," soft, cold fingers probed at my face.

I inhaled a painful, shuddered breath. Temari sniffled," Don't move. There's glass everywhere."

I groaned, my entire body throbbing and aching. Everything hurt. Temari took my arms and slowly helped me up. She sat me on a chair as he ran to grab tweezers, a few rags, and a bowl of warm water.

She knelt down in front of me, a rag at hand. She dipped it in the warm water in the bowl next to her. "This might hurt. Oh, God. Look at you, you're already bruising."

I sighed. "Just do it. I'll be fine."

Temari exhaled sharply, and began to dab at my bloody face. I winced, making her that much more hesitant. She wiped my face, neck and what she could from my arms.

"I have to take to glass out," Temari whispered, her brows pulling together in concern.

"Do what you have to do," my voice was stoic.

Removing the glass wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was just a long process to get all the little pieces out. Only the big shards lodged in sensitive areas made me cry out. Temari then rubbed her hands over my skin, making sure she got everything. She then had me remove my shirt, and worked on getting the glass off my back.

"Give me your pants. They're covered in glass too," she mumbled after she had finished.

I nodded, doing as she had instructed. Temari then sent me off to go take a shower, assuring me she'd clean everything up.

Ten minutes later, I sat on my bed, fully dressed. Temari knocked on my door, waiting to be let in.

"You don't have to do that," I mumbled.

She had oxygen peroxide, some kind of antibacterial ointment, gauze and surgical tape.

"Yes, actually, I do," she sat next to me.

Temari cleaned up my arms first. A few of the cuts were really bad, and it took her a while to get them to stop bleeding. She then did the small cut over my left brow, and then the scrape on the right side of my jaw. Temari had me take my shirt off again, and cleaned the cuts on my back. She then dressed them, applied the icky ointment, and dressed my wounds.

"Here," she placed two white pills in my hand.

I stared at her. "For the pain," she mumbled.

I put them in my mouth, washing them down with the day-old glass of water on my nightstand.

"Thank you, Temari. For everything," I couldn't look at her as I spoke.

She got up, kissed my forehead and sighed. "Sleep well, Gaara. I'm sorry."

Temari walked out, closing the door behind her. I lay down, hot tears spilling out and down my temples.

My dad used Friday's events as an excuse to keep me in my room all weekend. I ended up going over Monday's test material, read a book and slept. A lot.

My dad left early Monday morning, leaving me all alone at the house. Once Kakashi saw me, he panicked.

I brushed it off. "Crazy…party. D-Don't ask," I lied quickly.

He frowned, rubbing his cool fingertips over the bruises, but dropped it.

Kakashi's test was easy, but it took me longer than expected. Kakashi was a bit…distracting. He kept touching my thigh, pecking the corner of my mouth, and nipping at the side of my neck as I tried concentrating on my paper.

I placed my pencil down on the table after I had finished, then grabbed Kakashi's hand, and dragged him upstairs. He had been driving me crazy the entire time I was trying to take my test. Luckily, the material was extremely easy, and I finished in less than twenty-five minutes. Oddly enough, it took less time for him to undress us, and have me writhing beneath him, than it did for me to finish said test.

I lay beside Kakashi as he slept curled like a five year-old against my side. He sighed in his sleep, his arm tightening around my torso. My eyes slipped shut as I inhaled deeply. It hurt to do so, but if I breathed in really slow, it was a pleasurable pain. My room smelled of detergent, Kakashi's after shave, and sex.

I kept my eyes closed as I thought of everything, my fingers curling around Kakashi's wild, silver mane. I thought of my father, and of how much he hated me. The words he had hissed at me the previous night reverberated in my mind. He had called me a faggot, and said I was disgusting. Was I really? But wasn't that what he had asked of me?

I licked my bottom lip as it quivered slightly, willing the tears in my eyes to stay put. I didn't want to cry, so I shifted my thoughts to Kakashi. He had groaned, and was currently nuzzling his face into my ribs. I chuckled quietly, not wanting to wake him. His gesture had tickled me. Kakashi was a good man. A very confused, sick man. But he was kind, gentle, and an all around good man.

I found myself blushing when my thoughts shifted once more. This time I thought of Sasuke. He had looked so handsome in his work uniform. Then I remembered something he had said that day in the market. Sasuke had said he had missed me. Did that mean that he thought of me while he was away? I hoped he had, because then that wouldn't make me feel too weird about having thought of him while he was gone. Maybe I could go visit him today. Just for a little while after Kakashi went home.

Oh, no. I couldn't even if Kakashi left at this very moment. My jaw was all bruised up; my bottom lip split a little, a cut over my eyebrow. I didn't want to explain my face to him. He didn't need to know what my father thought of me. Or what my father did to me because of what he thought of me.

"Hey," a deep, groggy voice broke me away from my thoughts.

I looked down, and grinned at Kakashi. "Hi. How'd you sleep?"

He kissed the bruise on my jaw. "Just fine, thank you. Sorry for falling asleep though. How rude of me."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. I fell asleep a little, too," I lied.

Kakashi sighed and nuzzled against the crook of my neck. "Still; you deserve more than sex and then having me fall asleep on you," he mumbled against my skin.

I laughed. "So what are we supposed to do then? You want to discuss Tolstoy in bed?"

Kakashi smiled. "That's not what I meant."

I turned on my side, and wrapped my arms around him. "What did you mean then?"

He shrugged, "Never mind. I'll just try not to fall asleep next time."

"Next time? Mm…I like the sound of that," Kakashi laughed when I straddled him.

He grabbed my hips as I kissed him, steadying me. I kissed him hard and deep as I ground myself against him. Kakashi moaned, his mouth parting a little wider. I pulled back to watch his face, amused by his reaction. Kakashi's hand trailed down my inner thighs and back up to my cock. I bit my lip, suppressing a groan. His grip was tight around me, his strokes slow and precise. I buckled over, my hands pressed firmly against his chest. Kakashi chuckled when I let out a small sound of disappointment as he let go of me. He then lifted me easily, positioned himself, and lowered me onto him. I shuddered, a low moan emitting from me. Kakashi had begun to thrust, bucking his hips upward. This position was new to me, so the fresh sensations were slightly overwhelming.

"Gaara…" Kakashi moaned impatiently.

My cheeks burned up. "S-Sorry."

I started to move with him, penetrating deeper. I grit my teeth at the new wave of pleasure it brought on. Kakashi's hands roamed around, touching every inch of skin he could reach. When he took hold of me again, I only got more lightheaded then I already felt. I almost laughed as I wondered why he had never tried this before.

Kakashi and I stood in the foyer, the front door still closed for obvious reasons. I pulled back, my lip still sucked in between Kakashi's teeth.

"Ow…" I groaned, almost pouting.

He smiled and pecked my lips. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded. Kakashi opened the door and cleared his throat. "Well, uh, do the reading I assigned as well. Bye," he smiled again and stepped out.

I bit my lip, feeling a bit odd. Rather relaxed, but still odd. Why? Hmm, I don't know. Maybe because I had just wrapped my mind around the fact that I was sleeping with my teacher. I shook my head, and chuckled. God, I was such a disturbed child.

After Kakashi had gone, I stood in the foyer, contemplating on what to do. I needed to do chores and then buy groceries for dinner tonight. But I couldn't go to the store Sasuke worked at. I wouldn't be able to explain the bruises. I sighed and went to work on the chores. I guess I would have to go to a different store today.

My chores were rather simple. I had to straighten things up, do the dishes, if there were any, sweep, mop, and dust, do a few loads of laundry, and make the beds. Depending on what day it was, I'd have to clean the bathrooms. But that was only Tuesdays and Thursdays. Thankfully, today was Monday, and I wouldn't have to clean them until tomorrow. I started at the top of the list, straightening up the kitchen and living room. I cleared the table, only to grimace at the bit of glass Temari had missed. I then fluffed pillows in the living room, picked up shoes, clothes; put the remotes away, dusted picture frames, and the T.v. With that done, I vacuumed downstairs, and was done.

Now for the upstairs. I dusted the rail as I walked up the staircase, fixed floor mats, and straightened up the bathroom. I did my dad's room first, picking up clothes, shoes, and doing his bed. I hated being in there, so I got out as soon as possible. Next was Temari's room. Hers was much easier. She had already made her bed, and put her stuff away. I just grabbed the clothes out of her hamper, and quickly dropped them off in the laundry room before heading into Kankuro's room.

His room I dreaded. It was always disgusting. I kicked through the dirty clothes he had thrown around. I had just cleaned his room on Friday, and already it was a disaster. I picked up all the clothes first, not having the stomach to find out if it was clean or not. I just threw everything in the laundry room. I kicked his shoes into his closet, not bothering to fix them; I made his bed, and opened a window. It smelled like something had died in there. On my way out, I tripped on something sticking out from under his bed. I grunted as I fell to one knee, cursing my older brother mentally.

"What is this?" I pulled out a long, glass, multi-colored tube.

A bong. I laughed so hard, I almost dropped the damn thing. What would daddy think if he found out his perfect son was doing drugs? I just pushed it back under the bed, far away from the public's eye.

I fell onto my bed once done, still laughing over the little surprise in Kankuro's room. That was nothing; I had seen much worse. I had come across crunchy clothes with weird stains, old blobs of something that was once food, dirty magazines with sticky pages, obscene pictures of girls I used to see at school, and actual condoms. _Used_ condoms. Of course I never touched any of it. Not with my hands. I usually put my hand in a plastic bag, using it as a glove and either threw it away or put it away.

I scoffed aloud. Kankuro was closer to disgusting than I was. I never left food to rot, or had clothes with odd textures. I never owned a dirty magazine, and I cleaned up after myself…

As for condoms, well, I didn't really use any. It had never come up with Kakashi, and there was never anyone before him. I frowned at the thought. Should it have come up? It's not like I was at risk at getting pregnant. Should I trust him if he said he didn't have any STD's? The crease between my brows deepened. I hadn't brought that up either. For all I knew, I could have AIDS right now and not know because I didn't ask Kakashi about his sexual history. I shuddered. What an uncomfortable subject.

I shook my head, trying to forget what had just crossed my mind. Instead, I stood up and started cleaning my room. My dad did a daily check on my room. If it wasn't clean he'd usually yell at me for about ten minutes, slap me across the face, and send me to bed without dinner. This weekend I had gotten lucky. Temari had managed to sneak me a whole meal both on Saturday and Sunday. That would probably hold me off until tomorrow.

I picked up my shoes first, placing them neatly in my closet. Then I grabbed the clothes from my hamper, took them to the laundry room, started a load, then came back and made my bed. I turned to look at the clock. It was sort of early, barely noon. I went downstairs and went through the refrigerator. No use; it was basically empty. I'd probably make something simple, like meatloaf. It was really easy, and I already had most of the ingredients.

It was seven o'clock, and I was stuck in my room as my family ate downstairs. He decided I had done something wrong, and sent me upstairs with nothing to eat._ Again_. I lay still on my bed, wondering what would happen if he kept this up. I think it was his goal to let me starve to death. I laughed dryly. He wouldn't do that. Without me, there wouldn't be anyone to kick around and force to clean up after him.

I lay in bed in complete darkness, listening to my family as they started heading to bed. The light knock on my door startled me, making my skin feel clammy and prickly.

"Can I come in?" someone asked when I didn't answer.

I cleared my throat," Sure."

To my surprise, Kankuro stepped in, momentarily blinding me when he switched my light on. I sat up, suddenly nervous.

"Did you go through my stuff?"

I frowned. "N-No. I just cleaned up, I didn't go through anything."

He crossed his arms over his chest, nodding once. "So you didn't see anything you weren't supposed to."

I tensed up." Oh. Um…I might have."

"Might have? Did you or didn't you?" he sounded just as nervous as I felt.

"I-I did. I tripped on something under your bed. But I left it there, honest."

I gasped when he made it over to me in three quick strides. Kankuro jabbed his finger hard against my chest. "You can't tell anyone! I mean it, Gaara. You'll be in deep shit if you so much as think about saying anything."

I shook my head desperately. "No! I won't tell. You don't have to worry. What you do is your business."

Kankuro took a step back. I could almost see him dropping his defenses. "Thanks."

The room filled with suffocating tension. "Uh, 'night."

Kankuro quickly turned to flick my light off, and got out of my room as fast as his feet could carry him.

By Friday, the bruises on my face were pretty much gone. The only way you could see them is if you really paid attention to my face; which people rarely did.

I was slowly headed towards the grocery store. The one Sasuke worked at. My heart raced as I thought of seeing him, my palms incredibly clammy and shaky. I ruled it as anxiety from not seeing Kakashi though. He had canceled class due to a dentist appointment, making me restless. I had started looking forward to seeing Kakashi, sort of using him as an outlet to liberate myself from all the stress at home. Knowing I would have to wait three days until I saw him again made me edgy. It sounded pathetic; but I rather sound pathetic than have sticky magazine pages lying around in my room.

I stood in front of the store, suddenly blushing. I looked up at the sign. _Ichigo's_.

"Hmm…" I stood there racking my brain. That name sounded so familiar.

"Are you going to stand there all day, or will you be coming in?" a soft, alluring voice asked.

I looked down, my softer colored eyes meeting dark, opaque ones. My face flared up in an intense blush.

Sasuke smiled. "Well?"

I nodded, stammered a bit, and cleared my throat. "Yes."

"Yes, you're coming in; or yes, you'll be staying out here all day?" there was amusement in his tone.

"I-I'm coming in. I was just looking at the sign. Sorry…" I walked past him as he held the door open for me. I kept my face down as I mumbled a small, "Thank you."

"So, would you say you like the sign?" Now he was teasing.

I allowed a small chuckle. "It's a good sign. I was just- The name, it sounded familiar. I was just trying to remember where I had heard it before."

Sasuke licked his lips. "My foster mother owns it. I told you about her the last time you came here."

It clicked then," Oh! Right, right. I remember you telling me now."

Suddenly it clicked, _again_. "Your foster mother?"

Sasuke nodded, but said nothing more about the subject. I frowned. "Why are you living with a foster parent?"

I saw him gulp, his face suddenly dropping. "My parents died last year. My brother disappeared right after, and so I was left all alone."

I bit my tongue. I should have kept quiet. "Sasuke, I am so sorry," I reached out to him, but pulled back before I could touch him.

He shrugged. "I'm fine now. What can I do about it? Let's just…drop it. Please."

I nodded. "Yeah, okay. Sure."

Sasuke looked back up at me, smiling again. "So, what may I help you with?"

"Oh, well-"I paused," Oh, great. I forgot."

Sasuke laughed harder than I could remember him doing so. It was a low, smooth, pleasant laugh. A contagious laugh, which had me, laughing with him in no time.

I gripped at my side, and sighed deeply. "I haven't laughed that hard in such a long time."

Sasuke nodded in agreement. "Let's head to the back. Maybe once there you'll remember what you came for."

I followed Sasuke to the back room. It had a long, dark brown couch in the middle, a coffee table right in front of it, a few lockers against the back wall, and a bathroom to the right. Sasuke sat down and patted the spot next to him on the couch. I sat down and placed my hands on my lap, twiddling my thumbs nervously.

"Why aren't you going to regular school?" Sasuke asked suddenly.

I turned to face him, quite surprised by his boldness. "My father just thought it was easier if I stayed home. That way he wouldn't have to worry about…rides." I had to lie, I had to.

"Do you like it?"

I smiled. "Sure. I mean, I'm never late."

Sasuke chuckled. "That's nice. Does it ever get boring, seeing the same person five days a week for a whole school year?"

If only he knew…

"No. It's basically like regular school, only I get to stay home, and my tutor pays better attention to me. It's really easy to tell you the truth. Especially when you're tutor is as big of a push-over as Kakashi," I laughed.

Sasuke licked his lips. "Did you say Kakashi? _The _Kakashi Hatake? "

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, do you know him?"

"Well, no, not personally. I've just heard of him since I started high school. Everyone was in frenzy when they found out he wasn't coming back last year. I've just heard stories. Apparently the man is beyond gorgeous, but I-I wouldn't know, of course," Sasuke was blushing.

I attempted to stifle a laugh, highly amused by his reaction. "He is pretty handsome. My sister told me stories about him. All the girls at her school basically drooled over him when she went there. My brother Kankuro says the same. As for him though, he's glad Kakashi left."

Sasuke exhaled sharply. "If only everyone at school knew that he was a tutor for you. You'd be the envy of the entire school."

I blushed yet again. "Oh, come on. That's just insane."

"No way! I've heard people are trying to start a petition to try and get him back. The principal stopped it before anything happened though. You're one lucky kid, apparently."

I shrugged. "If you say so. That old man can be such a bore, but a great teacher. I've passed all my tests with no less than an A-."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Wow, maybe he should tutor me."

The thought of Kakashi tutoring Sasuke bothered me. I could just imagine Kakashi putting the moves on Sasuke, whispering in his ear as he took his tests. My hands balled up into tight fists. Not because I didn't want to share Kakashi; but I didn't want Kakashi anywhere near Sasuke.

"Pasta…" I mumbled suddenly.

Sasuke frowned, obviously confused. "W-what?"

"I came here for pasta. And spaghetti sauce and mushrooms. I just remembered."

"Oh, right. Well, I'm glad you remembered. Did you want to go grab that?" he pointed towards the door that led to the front of the store.

I nodded. "Yeah, I have a lot to do at home still. It was nice talking to you, Sasuke."

"I agree. Will I be seeing you this weekend? Maybe…? I'd really like to talk to you some more."

I thought of the chances of my father actually letting me out for the weekend. They were very slim. "I don't know Sasuke. My father is really strict. But, I can try."

He grinned, his hands linked behind his back. "That's all I ask."

I gave him a little bow, and stepped out to finish what I came for.

My heart beat way too fast the whole time I was cooking dinner. I really hoped my dad was in a good mood.

I waited around the kitchen, listening in for a hint on his mood. Apparently his job had gone really well today. During lunch he had won back the hundred dollars he had lost over the weekend. That sounded really good.

"Would you like something to drink?" I asked, clearing away the plates from the table.

"Some sake." He mumbled flatly, reading his paper.

I served him a double shot, and waited until he took it to clear my throat. He looked over at me slowly, his eyes curious, but thankfully not angry.

"I need to go to the library," I was so nervous it came out as a low murmur.

He savored the alcohol in his mouth before he spoke. "What for?"

"M-Mr. Kakashi assigned me to do some reading logs. I don't want to spend money by buying reading books, so I thought I'd check some out. May I go this weekend?" And the lying just flowed.

He groaned, processing what I had just said to him. Checking out books meant not having to buy them, meaning money in his pocket.

I nearly yelped in excitement when he said I could go.

"But I want you home early. No funny business. No stupid excuses about how you wanted to go shopping or some bullshit."

I stifled a laugh. "No, sir. Just there and back," _With a few stops along the way_, I added mentally.

He nodded. "Fine. Now get out of my sight."

"Okay. Thank you." I sighed, turned on my heel, and tried my hardest not to run upstairs.

I kept repeating Sasuke's address in my mind over and over as I walked down the street. _311 Oak Ridge Road. 311 Oak Ridge Road. 311 Oak Ridge Road._

I looked up at the sign in front of me. "Oak Ridge…Road," I sighed.

_308. 309. 310._ I held my breath. I peeked through the thick brush that covered the white picket fence in front of Sasuke's house. _311 Oak Ridge Road._

I gave a little anxious whimper. Why was I so nervous?

"Who are you?" I jumped back, gasping for air.

A white-haired, elderly woman peeked from behind one of the bushes. She eyed me curiously from under he thick-rimmed glasses.

"Um, uh-I'm…"

"You're name is Umuhim? What an odd name. Where are your parents from?" she asked, squinting her eyes.

"No, ma'am. My name is Gaara. I'm a friend of Sasuke's. Is he home?" I linked my fingers together behind my back.

She nodded. "Follow me. He's inside, making breakfast."

I followed her up the stone path, admiring all the beautiful plants and different colored flowers that surrounded us. I had been drawn in by a small purple plant, forgetting all about the woman leading me to her home. She was faster than I had expected. I cried out in surprise when a small pebble hit me on the shoulder. I turned to see where it came from.

"Are you coming Geerah, or not?"

I laughed. "It's Gaara, ma'am."

She nodded and motioned me over. "I know, I was just testing you."

I chuckled and ran up to her. The smell of blueberry pancakes hit my full force as soon as I stepped into the foyer.

"My goodness. That smells amazing!" my stomach groaned in agreement.

The woman laughed. "Yes, Sasuke is a great cook. He started doing it to distract himself, now I make him do it because he just cooks so darn well."

We laughed in unison, my small shy laugh overpowered by her raspy, loud one.

"Is that you I hear Nana?" I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. Sasuke had just used a cute nickname for his foster mother.

"Yes, honey. Are you nearly finished with breakfast?" she asked slowly making her way to the kitchen.

"Yes," he called out, "Who's with you? I heard someone else."

I stepped hesitantly into the kitchen after Mrs. Ichigo. "Hi…" I murmured.

Sasuke's eyes widened, the pancake he had on the stove starting to burn.

"You came," he whispered.

I smiled at him. "I came."

Sasuke's grin grew wider as he processed this. "I'm so glad you did. I thought you'd never show up. Are you hungry?"

"Will we be having pancakes…well-done?" I motioned over to the fuming stove.

"Oh, jeez!" he used the spatula he had in one hand to quickly remove the burning pancake.

Mrs. Ichigo and I started laughing, only to be joined by a rather startled Sasuke.

"Sit down, kid," Mrs. Ichigo pulled on my sleeve and pointed at a chair at her table.

"Thank you, Mrs. Ichigo." I sat down as she instructed.

"Call me Nana. All the kids I've fostered do, even little mister hostile over here calls me that."

Sasuke scoffed. "I'm not hostile…all the time."

"Remember when you first came here? I wouldn't call that friendly, honey."

Sasuke looked down at his plate. "I remember, and I said I was sorry. My parents had just died Mrs. Ichigo."

I nearly choked on my pancakes. "S-Sorry."

Sasuke turned to look at me. "I thought I told you about that."

I wiped the corner of my mouth. "You did. It's just, still hard to hear."

Sasuke sighed. "Yeah…um, would you like some more Nana?"

"No, no, Sasuke. Are you trying to make me fatter?" the old woman laughed.

They changed the subject after that. It was a nice change of pace. I actually got to sit at the table, and actually _eat_. Sasuke told me about how awful the foster home he was placed in actually was. Then he talked about school, and the one friend he had. He said no one else seemed interesting enough to talk to, and this Naruto kid, just wouldn't leave him alone. I laughed at that.

"Why did you talk to _me_ then?" I asked, still smiling.

Sasuke shrugged. "I didn't like the fact that people were picking on you. That and well, you seemed like someone who would understand what I was going through, since I occasionally got picked on too."

"You never told me you got picked on? Why didn't I see it happening?" I had set my fork down.

"Yeah, I got picked on all the time. Why do you think I suggested we ate lunch _behind_ the school under that tree? No one ever went back there."

I frowned. "Really? And what did they pick on you for?"

"You haven't told him?" Nana asked, outraged.

Sasuke swallowed down hard. "No, Nana. Please, just drop it," he looked over at me pleadingly.

"Wait a minute, what hasn't he told me?" I looked over at Nana.

She sighed. "I think it'd be best if he told you himself. It's not my place to be telling this boy's secrets."

I looked over at Sasuke. "Secrets? What is she talking about?"

Sasuke gripped his fork tightly, his eyes focused on his plate. "Nana, may we please be excused?"

"Sure, honey. Just leave your plates here, I'll clean up," she waved her hand motioning us away.

"But—"

"Now, now Sasuke, I can still clear a table. Go on," she picked up her cane and hit his chair.

Sasuke slowly slipped out of his seat. "Thank you, Nana." He flashed me a weird look and sighed. "Follow me."

Sasuke led me up a narrow set of stairs, and down the hall to his right.

"Where are we going?" I asked, looking at the pictures hanging from the walls.

Sasuke turned over his shoulder to look at me. "My room."

We stopped in front of a navy blue door. Sasuke opened it, and let me walk in before him. His room was simple. It had one window in the far wall, his queen sized bed pushed up beneath it. His room consisted of blue, black, and brown tints. Just as I remembered him. Plain, simple, and never over the top like my room. There was a desk against the wall to our right, a black lamp on it, a few scattered dressers, and a few books on the floor.

"Sit down," he motioned to his bed.

I did as he suggested, surprised by how soft his bed was. I watched Sasuke as he paced his room.

"What's wrong?" the expression on his face worried me.

"I don't know how to tell you this, Gaara. I don't even know where to begin," he shook his head, his hands deep in his jean pockets.

"Just say it. It can't be that bad," I twined my fingers together, nervous about what he was going to say.

"Kids at school started noticing I was different from a very young age. That's why no one ever wanted to hang out with me. But the people that did, I never liked. Except you. Gaara, I'm not like most guys. I hate parties; I don't really like crowds, and… I never really cared for girls."

I was confused. Why was Sasuke telling me all of this? I knew these things. I knew he didn't like to party, or people for that matter. Dating, well, neither of us really cared for it. Then it hit me. Oh…

"I don't…like girls." He whispered, his back turned toward me.

"Wait, are you saying you're gay?"

Sasuke's back tensed at the word. "Yes…"

I laughed. I didn't know when it started happening, but I couldn't stop. Sasuke turned to face me, completely appalled.

"Why are you laughing at me?" he sounded angry, and hurt.

I stopped and cleared my throat. "I'm sorry. I realize how hard this must be for you. But I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the situation. You see, the fact that you like guys doesn't bother me at all. Now it sort of makes more sense why we became such good friends. I don't really like girls either, Sasuke. And I was just laughing because you shouldn't be so scared to come to me. When have I let you down?"

Sasuke sucked on his bottom lip, his eyes moist. "Never…"

"And even if I wasn't gay myself, I'd never laugh at you for it. You're still my best friend, and I'll support you no matter what. Come here," I stood up, closing the distance between us.

I embraced Sasuke in a tight hug. From the way he held me back, I could tell he needed it. Sasuke pulled away from me, suddenly shy.

"So, you're not mad o-or grossed out?" he asked quietly.

I shook my head. "Of course not. Like I said, I don't really like girls either. I'd be an ironic hypocrite if I was grossed out by you."

Sasuke sat down on his bed, obviously relieved. "I should have told you sooner. I guess I was just scared."

I scoffed, and sat next to him. "You, scared? An Uchiha? That's a little hard to believe. You're the bravest person I know."

"What? You're just saying that." He bumped my shoulder gently.

"No way. I mean, not only were you the only one who didn't make fun of me for my hair, but you risked getting picked on because you spoke to me. No kid at that age would risk something like that."

"Not even when that kid is already getting picked on?" he asked quietly.

"Especially then! Things could have gone from bad to worse. But you were my friend anyway. Why?" I couldn't help but grin.

Sasuke shrugged. "I guess I liked you before I even met you. You went on like you didn't have a care in the world. I admired that, envied that almost. Besides, I liked your red hair. I still do; it suits you."

I smiled, shrugging at his words. "I guess. I never had the heart to dye it. It made me stand out."

"I'm glad you didn't dye it. I might not have gone up to you if you had."

I took that in, letting it sit in my mind. A long-forgotten memory flashed before me. I was sitting alone in my room one evening, when Temari had walked in with a box of black hair dye. I stared at it for over an hour, contemplating. I wonder what would have happened if I had dyed it that night…

Sasuke cleared his throat. "Anyway, uh, how have you been? Since I've been gone, I mean."

I licked my lips. "Fine."

Sasuke chuckled. "You don't sound too convinced."

I looked over at him, scanning his face. "I could be better."

His frown deepened. "Why? What's been going on?"

"You don't want to hear it. It's not that important anyway," I gave a little shrug.

Sasuke scooted closer to me, taking my hand gently in his. "Actually, I want to hear it. Like you said, you're my best friend."

He sighed deeply when I said nothing. "Trust me…" he whispered.

I turned to face him, a sad grin playing at the corner of my lips. "My dad's a jerk. He…likes to make it hard for me."

"He likes to make what hard for you?"

I gave a humorless chuckle. "Life."

"What do you mean?" Sasuke seemed genuinely concerned.

"Did I ever tell you why exactly I'm being home-schooled?" I turned to face him, my face suddenly serious.

Sasuke licked his lips, and shook his head. "No, you haven't."

I smiled. "He doesn't want people to know about me. That's how much he hates me. He literally went out of his way just to make sure the least amount of people know I even exist."

"But, that can't be. He's your father. Are you sure he—"

"I'm positive. He tells me all the time, Sasuke. How sure can I get? He tells me he hates me everyday. He beats me every chance he gets! He. Hates. Me!" I had started breathing heavily, tears stinging my eyes.

Sasuke was speechless. I could tell. His dark eyes were wide, his pink lips slightly parted. "Gaara…I'm sorry. I didn't know."

I sniffled and wiped my eyes. "Good. I was hoping you'd never find out, but I guess that's changed now. Look, it sucks. It really does. But I'm fine. M-Maybe I should go."

"No, don't. Please…" Sasuke gave me a shy grin.

My heart skipped when I felt cold fingers curl around my hand. "You finally made it, and I don't think I'm ready to let you go home just yet."

I chuckled, my mood shifting suddenly. "Thankfully, I wasn't exactly ready to go home either. Tell me more about you."

Sasuke sighed and lay back on his bed. I looked down at him, and smiled when he motioned for me to lie next to him. He then held my hand as we lay still, our breathing the only sound in the room.

"My life's dull, for lack of a better word." Sasuke finally mumbled.

"Why do you say that?" I turned on my side to get a better view of him. I liked to watch his mouth when he spoke. He had nice lips.

"Nothing goes on. I go to school, do nothing there but study and avoid Naruto as much as possible. Girls are kind of annoying though, trying to talk to me and all. I work after school, and when I get here, I cook something for Nana, do homework, take a shower, maybe I'll read and go to bed. Dull. It's uneventful and I feel like there's something missing." He licked his lips, pausing for a split second to bite his bottom lip.

My mouth watered. I had no reason why, but it did. I wanted to taste Sasuke. I wanted to invade his entire mouth and taste the blueberry and syrup there. That sweetness made even better with the heat and moisture of his mouth. I chuckled quietly. Who knew my imagination could be so vivid? I opened my eyes to stare down at dark, wide eyes. I pulled back, my lips tingly and wet.

Uh-oh.

I sat up quickly, my heart hammering against my ribcage. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my throat dry, my voice lost.

Sasuke's face softened, his shocked eyes turning questioning. "What was that for?"

I stood up, my whole frame trembling. I knew he liked guys, but that never meant he liked me. I wasn't sure _I_ even liked him that way. He was Sasuke. Just Sasuke. I had just felt the sudden need to kiss him. Right…?

"I don't know. I really should go," I didn't wait for an answer, and just bolted out of his room.

"Hey, honey. Leaving so soon?" Nana called out from the kitchen.

I stepped in there for a second, took a little bow, and nodded. "Yes, Nana, I do. Thanks for everything. I hope to see you soon."

"Same here hon, same here," she waved good bye as I nodded and walked out.

I ran home. That's all I could do to keep from freaking out. It took most of my concentration to keep upright and try and not to get hit by a car. Once in the safety of my room, I collapsed onto my bed. My heart was pounding, my body still shaking. Sasuke would surely hate me after this. I rolled over on my stomach, buried my face in my pillows and cried. I cried long and hard, out of sadness and frustration. I was such an idiot.

I managed to fall asleep for about an hour. Crying always wore me out. I looked over at my clock and groaned. I needed to start on lunch. No one was home yet. They all had some kind of business to attend to. But if my dad or Kankuro came home and noticed there was no food, I was as good as dead. So I had rather not risked it.

I had finished lunch just in time. Kankuro had walked in about ten minutes after I had finished. He sat down and waited to be served as usual. I did as expected and then went upstairs to my room. I had to come down twenty minutes later to feed my dad though. I set his plate in front of him and took a few steps back.

"Did you get your books?" he asked suddenly.

I bit my bottom lip. No, of course I didn't get my books. I didn't even remember to go to the damn library. He'd be able to tell if I was lying, so I'd have to tell him.

"No, I-I didn't." God, why did he pick today to be curious?

"And why not? Isn't that why I gave you permission to leave the house?" he swallowed the food in his mouth, and stared at me.

Oh, jeez. "Yes, you did. It was closed. I forgot that the library isn't open on the weekends." _Please believe me, please oh, please. _

"Why the fuck would you waste my time in asking then?"

"I-I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

My father struck me so hard, I fell back a few feet and hit the ground. Hard. I gave a low whine as I scrambled to stop my nose from bleeding. It was no use. I was getting blood everywhere. My dad stood up and walked over to me. He shoved the toe of his shoe against my chest, constricting my breathing.

"You'll just never learn, will you? You're a fucking idiot. All you do is waste my time and my money. You're a waste of space. I can't wait until you turn eighteen. A father's dream, don't you think?" he chuckled dryly.

I wasn't sure what happened that very moment. All I know was that I should have kept quiet. "I agree. Don't worry; I'm not planning on staying here anyway. I know you can't stand me. Such pity, because I still love you, whether you care or not."

That earned me a kick to the jaw. I rolled on my side, my face cupped in my hands. I groaned, tying my best not to cry.

"Well, I don't care. I doesn't matter to me whether or not a murderer loves me."

I gagged as I choked on my own blood. That was the least of my worries. My heart clenched painfully, causing a violent sob to take form. How could he still throw that in my face? It wasn't my fault! I would trade my life for my mother's any day.

I lay on the floor, curled in a sobbing, bloody ball. I remained motionless, even after the crying and the bleeding stopped.

"Oh, my goodness! Gaara, are you alright?" Temari walked into the kitchen and rushed to my side.

I looked up at her and blinked a few times. I cleared my throat, my voice still a little hoarse. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

She dabbed the corner of her eyes. "You're covered in blood, honey. Oh, look at your lip, and your jaw is bruising."

I smiled and winced as the cut on my lip reopened. "It looks worse than it feels." I chuckled, and then choked on a sob.

Temari picked me up and cradled me to her chest like a baby. She kept smoothing out my hair, her tears soaking my hair.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Gaara." She kissed the top of my head as she rocked me gently.

I titled my head back and kissed the side of her jaw. "I love you," I whispered, my vision blurry from the tears.

Temari only cried harder. "I love you, too. So much." She squeezed me tightly, the rocking motion making me sleepy.

"I should get cleaned up," I mumbled, sitting up and looking at her.

Temari wiped her face, and nodded. "Okay. Go on then."

I got up and then sighed. "Oh, look at your blouse. I stained it. I'm sorry. Do you want me to wash it?"

"No, no. It's fine. I'll do it later. You go upstairs and clean yourself up, alright?"

"Okay, just let me clean up this mess." I started to walk away, but Temari stopped me.

"I'll do it."

"No, Temari. You're always cleaning up after…well, afterwards. I'll do it this time."

Temari stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't argue with me, young man. Now, go upstairs," she gave me a playful grin.

I hugged her once more. "Thank you. Really, I mean it."

She brushed my hair back from my eyes and kissed my forehead. "It won't always be like this. I promise."

I swallowed down the knot in my throat, and turned to head upstairs. After taking a shower, I headed back downstairs to check up on Temari. She wasn't in the kitchen so I just assumed she'd be in her bedroom. While in the kitchen, I stood very quietly to see if I could tell where my dad was. The entire house was quiet. It was ten o'clock at night after all. Kankuro wouldn't be home, and my dad and Temari would be sleeping.

I tip toed to the nearest cupboard and pulled out a cup. My stomach had been growling at me for some time now, so I needed something to fill it. I turned on the faucet, just a tiny bit, enough for a solid yet quiet flow. I drank water until my stomach hurt. Then I grabbed a half eaten apple from the trash and ran upstairs. I knew my dad would notice if I had taken something from the kitchen. But I had found out a long time ago that he never checked the trash.

With my covert fruit, I locked myself in my room to finish off the already discarded apple. Even this was sort of a rare treat. I wondered how hungry I would have been today if it weren't for Sasuke's pancakes. I smiled to myself, remembering just how pleasant Sasuke's lips had felt.

"Damn…" I mumbled under my breath.

Would he still want to talk to me, even after what I had done this afternoon? I was too scared to find out. I don't think I'd be able to bear the thought of him rejecting me as a friend. Sasuke was my only friend, the only way I could forget my life at home. I suppose I would have to find out when I saw him again.

My weekend had been quite difficult to get through. As punishment, I was forced to clean the entire house. After that was done, I was to rake up the back yard, and the front yard and then take the trash out. I was sore that night, and could barely sleep. A long, hot shower was of some help that Monday morning.

"Are you alright?" Kakashi asked once he saw the bruise on my face.

I nodded, and winced as I sat down. "Ahh! F-Fine." I chuckled to ease his concern.

Kakashi frowned. "Right…Why don't you try telling me the truth? It's obvious there's something going on. Just tell me."

"Why do you care? You're getting what you want, why does it _fucking_ matter?"

He grinned. "Feisty this morning, aren't we?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just a bit sore. I did a bit of yard work yesterday. Not a big deal."

Kakashi leaned back on the couch, his arm wrapping around my shoulders casually. "And I suppose you're going to tell me that the bruise on your face was due to you falling, or the broom hitting you by accident, right?"

I cleared my throat. "Which one sounds more believable?"

Kakashi leaned forward, his face suddenly much closer. "How about the truth? And I do care. You know that I care very much."

"My dad, he—it was an accident." I stammered a bit, unsure of what to say.

"Bullshit."

I frowned at Kakashi's language. He was technically still my teacher. So, shouldn't he be watching his mouth around me or something?

"What are you insinuating?" I chuckled, hoping he'd believe my latest excuse.

"You're lying. I can tell. Not to mention, that I know your father. I know he has a temper, _and_ I know how he…feels about you. Sort of."

"How he feels about me?" I tried to swallow down the knot in my throat.

Kakashi pressed his lips to mine, giving me a small kiss. He left them there as he spoke. "Not just any parent allows their child's teacher to sleep with them in exchange for said child's education. I'm not complaining, but he said yes a bit too quickly."

I opened my eyes all the way, looking into Kakashi's wide, curious eyes. He was waiting for a reaction, so I gave him one.

I grabbed him by the back of his neck, mashing my lips against his in a deep kiss. I needed this. I needed this to forget. This entire weekend had consisted of pain and tears, and I was tired of it. This would be a treat to myself, because I deserved to feel wanted. I deserved to be touched and kissed and held. I had to do it. I had to distract myself from everything that was going on. And if that meant I had to use Kakashi's hands and tongue, Kakashi's skin and kisses, then fine. I would use them in any way necessary. Besides, I was getting the hang of this, and he felt amazing.

Kakashi had woken up a good twenty minutes before I had. When I finally got up, I found him in the kitchen making lunch for us both. He then briefly went over a few school things, and left a bit after that.

After Kakashi had left, I had to run over to the store and grab a few things for tonight's dinner. I was actually beyond nervous, but I found it necessary to face Sasuke. Even though my heart was getting ready to burst through my chest.

By the time I stood in front of Mrs. Ichigo's store, I was so nervous I almost threw up. I took a deep breath, and stepped inside.

I couldn't even look up once I got inside. My main focus was trying to get around the store while staring down at my shoes.

"Hey," I gasped at the greeting, my throat going dry.

I turned around slowly, half expecting to get a smack to the face. To my surprise, Sasuke was grinning shyly.

I cleared my throat and swallowed a few times. "Hi. I-I need food. Uh…" God! I sounded like an idiot.

Sasuke chuckled. "Well, we have that. Are you looking for anything in specific?"

Why wasn't he yelling at me? Why wasn't Sasuke hitting me over the head telling me to leave him alone?

"I'm sorry," was all I managed to say.

Sasuke frowned a little. "What? Why are you apologizing?"

"Well, I kissed you. I probably shouldn't have. I'm sorry for…doing it," my cheeks were burning up.

Sasuke's smile caused my heart to skip a beat. "I'm not. It was a good kiss. Don't you think so?"

I nodded. "Yes, I do. I guess I wasn't sure if you were alright with it."

"Well, I don't mind. Why, were you hoping I wouldn't be okay with it?"

"No."

"No?" he looked suddenly hurt.

"No, I wasn't hoping that. I just…expected you to be angry at me for doing it. I was a little scared to be honest."

"Really? I'm not angry. I told you I'm okay with it. Gaara, I like you. As a friend, as…well, I'm not sure. You're pretty cute. I definitely wouldn't mind you kissing me at all."

I was blushing, I was sure of it. Well, things had apparently gone a whole lot better than I could have ever imagined. This was a good thing of course. My one and only friend thankfully didn't hate me. But I think he possibly…liked me. Hang on a second. I gulped, _Sasuke likes me_. The thought caused me to smile. A small, shy yet inevitable smile. Such expression soon faded once Kakashi came into mind. Kakashi and I were sleeping together. Would he be upset if I suddenly decided that I liked Sasuke? What would Sasuke think about me sleeping with an older man? And not just any older man, my teacher; I gulped again.

I did the only thing I was good at. I fled. "Uh, I think I should go."

I turned to leave, and was a bit surprised when I felt a firm grip on my forearm.

"Why? Did I do something wrong?"

I sighed. "No, not at all. I just have to go now."

"Really? Right after I told you that I don't mind you kissing me. Look, Gaara, if you don't like me just come out and say it. I hate that stupid avoiding game. Now, if you do like me, own up to it. If not fine. I just don't want to waste my time wondering what the hell you're going to do next. I'm not that type of person." He hurt in his voice caused me to flinch.

I bit my lower lip. I had never in my life seen Sasuke like this. It hurt to know that I had caused this sudden change in mood. No one had ever liked me before, and I didn't know what to say.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry—"

"Oh, great! I knew it. Please spare me the apologies. I think I know a rejection when I hear one."

What? I wasn't rejecting him. I hadn't said anything. To be honest, I was simply apologizing for the confusion and for upsetting him. By the time I thought of something to say, it was too late. Sasuke had already taken off to the back of the store.

Once I got back home, I was so distracted by what had happened with Sasuke that I ended up getting a slap to the face. Apparently my dad had spoken my name once more than necessary.

I woke up the next day, determined to solve things with Sasuke. But first, I had to deal with Kakashi.

"What is wrong with you?" he nearly growled as he removed my clothing, his lip attached to my neck.

"Huh? No, wait! Not the neck!" I pushed him off, trying to stop him from leaving anything visible on my exposed skin.

I reached over to my dresser and picked up a CD. I managed to use it as a mirror and see the huge bruise-like mark.

"Asshole!" I nearly shrieked, ramming the heel of my hand against Kakashi's chest.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem? My problem? You're my fucking problem! How many times have I told you not to leave me any marks above the fucking neckline! No hickeys, no scratch marks, no fucking bite marks. Oh, my God! You're a damn idiot. Is it that difficult for—"

I gasped, as the loud crack of Kakashi's hand coming in contact with my face, echoed throughout my room. My lower lip trembled as I attempted to keep hot tears at bay.

"Get out."

"I'm sorry. Gaara, please, I just reacted," he was reaching out for me, trying to soothe my burning cheek.

"Get out!" I yelled, getting up and pointing at my door.

"Gaara, I'm so sorry. Please, you were yelling at me! Insulting me! I'm sorry," he tried to hold me, but I pushed him away.

"I get enough from my father, I don't need it from you. Now, get out of my room."

"Gaara…" I had to turn away the moment his voice broke.

I could be such a damn pushover, and I wasn't going to allow myself to let him hit me. My father was a different story, but not Kakashi.

"Please Gaara. Let me make it up to you. We could do whatever you like. Please, please, _please_!"

I shuddered when he ran his hands down from my shoulders to my sides. Kakashi hugged me from behind, his need pushing up against my lower back. He kissed gently at the side of my neck, his hands easing down the front of my pants. A tremor passed over me as a delicious ache shot through my body. Jeez, this man's hands were delightful.

Kakashi ended up leading me towards my bed. It threw me off a bit when he lay down, leaving me to climb up on top of his throbbing member. I liked this position the best possibly because it allowed me control that I wasn't used to; and I liked it.

My feet shifted nervously beneath me as I stood outside Sasuke's home later on that day. I wasn't sure how he'd react to me showing up, and the uncertainty made me nervous. After taking a few deep breaths, I walked past the miniature jungle and knocked on the front door.

Nana opened the door, and knowing expression on her face. "I was expecting you _yesterday_."

"I'm sorry. I wanted to come, but I had to start on dinner. Is he here, Nana?"

She cupped my jaw. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"

My eyes grew wide. "No, I—well, I don't know. I'm not sure. I haven't really thought about it to tell you the truth."

Suddenly I became painfully aware of the hickey Kakashi had left me. I pulled my jacket closer around me, attempting to hide the offensive mark.

"Don't hurt him, honey. He's a very sensitive boy, and he's been through more than any person ever should."

I gulped, and licked my lips. "I won't. I-I'll try my best not to, at least. He's my best friend, and I care for him. A lot."

Nana nodded. "He's upstairs in his room."

I pecked her cheek. "Thank you."

Little did I know that getting past the front door was the easy part. I now stood in front of Sasuke's bedroom door, on the verge of a panic attack. Right as I was about to knock, the navy blue door swung wide open.

"Oh!" I gasped, my hand shooting up to the base of my throat.

Sasuke frowned, obviously upset by my presence. "What are you doing here?" he grumbled, his arms crossed neatly over his chest.

"I-I came to apologize." My voice was no louder than a whisper.

"I thought I told you I didn't want any apologies." Sasuke's scorn was getting harder to stand under.

I gulped, trying to get something wet in my suddenly dry throat. Sasuke always made me nervous, but an angry Sasuke made me nervous _and_ edgy.

"I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me. Back at the store…you never let me finish. I—"

"Did you come here to insult me further? Really?"

Okay, his pessimistic attitude and his image of me, were getting on my nerves. "Sasuke—"

"No, look I know what you came here—"

"Shut up!" I was gasping for air, my hands curled in tight fists.

I looked up at Sasuke who looked both surprised and curious. Never had I had an outburst like this in front of him. "You keep on interrupting me, and you keep assuming strange things. All of those things that you accuse me of feeling, have you heard me say anything that might indicate that I feel that way?"

Sasuke sucked on his bottom lip and shook his head. "Not that I can think of."

"That's right, I haven't. On the contrary, I kissed you. Didn't I?" I grabbed his chin, gently coaxing him to look at me.

He nodded, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "That's right, you did."

"Then? Why do you keep yelling at me, saying that I've rejected you? You haven't let me _say _anything, how can I reject you? You're my best friend and I… I love you."

Sasuke gave a pleasured whine, his frame shaking in excitement or, well, I don't know.

"You mean that?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "Yes. I mean every word. I hadn't realized until a few days ago, but I do love you. Very much. And, God, I've missed you."

Sasuke threw his arms around my neck, his lips crashing painfully hard against mine, and then slowly melting against them. I felt warm and groggy when he pulled away. It was like being drunk but without the alcohol, high without the drugs. I licked my lips, tasting him and a hint of blood. A sweet taste that I savored slowly on my tongue.

"But…"

He frowned. "But? There's a _but_?"

I nodded. "Not that I want there to be one, but it's there. I'm seeing someone. Sort of. It's extremely complicated and I can't get out of it. If I could I most definitely would, but I don't believe I can."

Sasuke scoffed, his giddy mood knocked down a few notches. "Who is it?"

"That's the thing, I can't tell you. You'd probably hate me if you knew."

Sasuke pulled me into his room, and only then did I realize that we were in the hall that entire time. I blushed, feeling a bit awkward. He sat me down and took my hands in his.

"Tell me, Gaara. Please. I want to know who it is. I think…I think I _need_ to know. Jeez, I deserve that much, don't you think?"

"Yes, you do. I don't know. This is very hard for me. I haven't told anyone, and I'm scared of how you'll react."

"I'll be calm. I promise. Just tell me, Gaara."

I gulped, my hands shaky in his. "Have you have sex with anyone yet, Sasuke?"

I sensed the awkwardness in the air. "It's fine, just tell me."

"Well, I have actually. Back at one of the foster homes I was put in. One of the boys I had known from the program was put there with me. He was attractive, I suppose. I think I was just looking for some kind of intimacy, a way to forget everything. But, yes I have. Why, have you?"

"How old was he?"

"About my age. Maybe a few months younger. It bothered me how experienced he was for his age. He shouldn't have been so good," he gave a small chuckle, coughed, and blushed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

I shook my head. "It's fine. What I'm about to say might bother you more than what you said bothered me."

Before telling Sasuke my deepest, darkest secret I took a deep breath. "He's older than I am."

"Really?" he sounded defensive, yet utterly curious.

"He's much older. It didn't start out the way any relationship would start. I trusted him first, and he took advantage of that. But its fine now, things are pretty good. Well, except for the fact that I want you. God, I want you," I kissed his pouty mouth, sucking at his bottom lip, biting him and deepening it even further.

Sasuke pulled away. "You're very good at," he gulped," distracting me. But you have to tell me who he is."

I kissed the corner of his mouth and slowly I pecked his lips. "Kakashi."

The moment his name slipped past my lips I shrunk into myself, as if ashamed for uttering such a set of offensive letters.

Sasuke's reaction shocked me. Instead of hitting me across the face, he laughed. "You're kidding! Kakashi Hatake? _The_ Kakashi Hatake? You have got to be kidding."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not. I thought I told you he was my tutor."

"Yeah, you did. But you can't be fucking him." Ah, there's the flare of anger I had been expecting.

"What? Why is that so hard to believe?" I couldn't' help but ask.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because he's the same Kakashi Hatake that all the hot high school girls moon over. The same Kakashi that straight guys want to be and gay guys have wet dreams over." He stood up, and paced his room, his back faced towards me.

"Hang on a second. '…that gay guys have wet dreams about'? Does that include you?"

He stammered for a bit and then turned to face me, "Oh, it was one time! You're the one sleeping with him!"

I stood up, getting in Sasuke's face. "Because he forced me to!"

"You could have said no!" he growled back.

Before I answered him, I sniffled, knowing that I was crying. "I did. I was raped."

Sasuke backed off a few inches, his expression a mix between shock and pain. "But you said things are fine. That things between you got better."

"They have gotten better. But only because they had to. My dad exchanged me for an education. He didn't want to spend his own money, so he let Kakashi do as he pleased. And he has. See?"

I pulled off my jacket, exposing the huge blotch of purple and deep red. Sasuke reached out to touch it, but stopped. He was expressionless except for a single tear that cut loose from his stoic demeanor. Spilling secrets was exhausting, so I just plopped down onto his bed.

There was a light knock at the door. "Sasuke, honey, I need to go run a few errands. I'll be back in a few hours. Do you need anything, either of you?"

"No, Nana. Thank you, just be careful."

"Sure thing, honey. See you later."

Things remained tense and quiet for a while longer. I could hear Nana opening and closing the front door, then the low creak of the front gate.

The breath was then knocked out of me as Sasuke jumped on my lap, his arms too tight around my neck. I pulled back from his sweet mouth, inhaling deeply.

"Need to breathe!" I wheezed, accepting another rough kiss.

"Sorry…" Sasuke mumbled, pushing me down onto my back.

I knew what was coming next. I could sense sex in the air. And even though my pants were too tight, my skin begging to feel his against mine, I sat up.

"N-not like this. I want to do this right."

"Okay, and how is that? The _right_ way, I mean?" he got up off me and sat down at my side.

"Well, either way this is going to be difficult. My dad only lets me go out to buy groceries. But I would like to take you out. You know, typical dinner and a movie, date for a while and then we can talk about getting that far."

"You want to date me?" he seemed a little shocked.

"Yes, I do Sasuke. Well, if you'll have me of course. I don't want to force you into anything. I don't think I could do that to you." I chuckled lightly, running my fingers through his dark hair.

Finally, he nodded. "Okay, that sounds great. I'd love to date you."

I smiled, kissing those lips that now belonged to me. I kissed him long and hard and didn't stop until he mumbled something against my lips.

"What?" I sighed, gently touching his face.

"Does that mean that I can call you my boyfriend?" he asked again, blushing lightly.

I nodded. "Of course."

Sasuke's brow pulled together in concern. I sensed a question. "What about Kakashi?"

Uh-oh. "What about him?"

"I don't think I'm comfortable knowing that you're sleeping with him. Besides, I don't think it's fair. You get him _and_ you get me."

"It's not like I can just ask him to stop. It'll be worse for me if I don't cooperate. Trust me, from experience; I know what I'm talking about. Look at it this way," I kissed him," I'll take mental notes and try new things on you."

Sasuke clicked his tongue, and backed away. "And when will that be? Six months from now?"

"If it needs to be that long, then yeah, maybe."

He growled playfully, his lip protruded in a disagreeing manner. "Yeah, says the one getting laid. I love you, I do, but I'm going to need you physically sometimes too."

I groaned. Why was he making this so hard? But to be honest, he had a point. I wasn't sexually stressed because I saw Kakashi five days a week.

"Fine…"

"What?"

I didn't answer Sasuke with words. Instead, I pushed him down onto his back, and kissed him with all the energy and fervor I had in me. The whine he gave when I slipped my hand down his pants was priceless. I grabbed him firmly, stroking gently at first. Sasuke was writhing against me. The heat coming off his body, to die for. I speed up and didn't stop until he gave a low moan from somewhere deep in his throat, my hand covered in a warm sticky substance.

I sat at the kitchen table waiting for the oven to preheat. Sure I could have started dinner, but I was procrastinating. As soon as I got home, for some reason or another, I touched my face and sighed. I could smell Sasuke on my hands. And starting dinner meant I had to wash my hands, meaning I'd lose that intoxicating smell.

After a few long minutes, and even longer whiffs, I finally got up and washed my hands. I smelled them again and groaned. They smelled like citrus now, and the scent made me nauseous. Hesitantly, I walked over to the refrigerator and started on dinner.

After dinner, I stood against the sink, washing dishes, as everyone else went off to do their own thing. I nearly dropped a plate when I heard my dad walk in and stand behind me. I licked my lips, expecting a blow to the back of the head or something.

"Were there any leftovers?" he asked quietly.

I turned to face him, my eyes focused on my socks and nodded.

"I see. I suppose you can have them."

I looked up. "Really?"

But my dad had already started walking away. I watched my dad leave and didn't take my eyes off his receding back until he disappeared up the stairs.

He was going to let me eat tonight.

I swallowed down a knot in my throat and turned around to finish the dishes. What was his deal tonight? Oh well, I wasn't complaining. I chuckled quietly. I was going to _eat_ tonight!

Going to bed with a full stomach was a nice change. I actually managed to fall asleep much faster than usual.

Kakashi came in Tuesday morning a little on the moody side. It took him thirty minutes into his arrival for him to talk to me, and another twenty for him to touch me.

After pounding his frustration away into me, he lay quietly next to me. I had wrapped my arm around his torso and was now drawing invisible shapes on his stomach.

"What's wrong?" I whispered after a long silence.

Kakashi sighed, and smiled down at me. "I'm sorry. I took out my frustration on you today. My ex-girlfriend called me."

I gulped. This conversation was going to be really weird.

"What did she say?" I hesitantly asked.

"She asked how I was doing, and she asked about…well, you."

I sat up, utterly shocked. "Why would she ask about me?"

"She said she's still in love with me, but that she won't come back if you're in my life. And right now we're more involved than ever."

I took a deep breath and lay back down. "What are you trying to say? Are you leaving?"

I liked Kakashi, I really did. But I couldn't help thinking about what him leaving meant for me and Sasuke. And I also couldn't help sticking my hand under the covers and crossing my fingers.

Kakashi laughed. "Are you insane? Not only is it my job to teach you, but I love coming here."

I sighed, and grinned at him, but only because he was looking and didn't give me time to frown.

"Kakashi…"

"Hmm?" he linked his hand with mine.

"Can I ask you something? Now, I don't want you getting mad at me. I'm just curious."

Kakashi turned to face me. "Go ahead."

I gulped. Now that he was looking down at me, I felt a little nervous. "Why do you… like me so much? I mean, I'm sure there are people your age that can be better for you. I'm just a kid, and I don't have much to offer. So, why do stay?"

He sighed, and took a few long seconds to gather his thoughts. "I find you fascinating, Gaara. I don't know what it is. I love everything about you, and I like being around you. Listen, just because you're a little…young, doesn't mean you have less to offer," he leaned in to kiss my cheek, and then pressed his lips to my ear," You're a fast learner, and you tend to be quite creative."

I closed my eyes and sighed. I realized this was supposed to be a compliment, but I was too depressed to be flattered.

"There's something I have to tell you," I whispered, my eyes remaining closed.

Kakashi held me close. "What is it?"

"I've… I met up with an old friend."

He chuckled. "I thought you told me you didn't have any friends."

"You're right, I thought I didn't. But I knew this person since—"

Kakashi's phone went off. "Oh, darn. Hang on a second, will you?"

I sat up and watched him as he got up to look through his jeans. "Ha! I got it. H-Hello?"

I listened as he mumbled a few mm-hmm's, yeah's, and oh's. At one point during his phone conversation he slipped on his boxers, and then his jeans. Kakashi closed his phone.

"I have to go. Unexpected emergency. I'll see you tomorrow though." Kakashi pulled his shirt over his head.

"Unexpected emergency? What kind of an emergency?" I looked him over and noticed for the first time today just how casual he looked.

"A friend," he said simply.

He looked at me as I frowned.

"Um, well, Gaara there was something that I failed to mention. Look, I knew that it would upset you so I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. But… I'm back with Anilee."

I laughed. Was he serious? "Anilee? What kind of a name is that? _Who_ is that?"

Kakashi set his jaw and stood up straight. Apparently my laughter bothered him. "She's my girlfriend."

My head swam, and I couldn't see straight. What was he saying?

"What do you mean _girlfriend_?" I heard myself ask.

"I live with her, we hold hands at the grocery store, we kiss, and we fuck. Anything else?"

I pressed my hand against my temple, willing to throbbing pain to stop. "You said you weren't leaving me. I thought you—"

"Just because I refuse to leave you doesn't mean I can't have her as well."

"But…"

My headache was getting worse. I sniffled and wiped my blurry eyes. Oh, great. I was crying.

"Gaara, are you alright?" I heard Kakashi step forward.

"Don't! You're a liar, a-a fucking liar! Why won't you make up your mind? Why won't you leave me alone?"

I wasn't sure when I had started yelling. All I knew was that I was angry. I was mad at Kakashi for being so selfish.

"Don't you yell at me! I am an elder and still your teacher, so don't you fucking dare yell at me," Kakashi bent over and started pulling his shoes on.

I got up off the bed, the sheet wrapped around my lower half. "Not yell at you? Really? You came in here and took advantage of me! You-you wont let me have a life and you still decide to screw me over and have a girlfriend anyway. Well, thanks _Kakashi_ for being such a fucking exemplary teacher and elder."

The only thing I managed to do was gasp before Kakashi grabbed my jaw. He squeezed incredibly hard, making me groan in pain. I instinctively grabbed at his forearms, hoping he'd loosen his grip. But so far, that wasn't working.

His voice was calm and low when he spoke again. "As far as I knew, Gaara, you never really had a life. And as for taking advantage of you, as you claim, well you like it." He pulled my face close to his, his lips almost touching mine. "You enjoy the thrill of doing something that you're not really supposed to be doing. You enjoy fucking me because it's the only attention you ever get. That and well, I'm fucking amazing."

Somewhere between the pain I managed to scoff. Finally, Kakashi let go of me, pushing me a few feet away in the process. I rubbed my sore cheeks, my jaw flexing.

"You're really cocky for a fucking pedophile. You're not amazing Kakashi, I'm just doing my duty of paying you for the crappy job you do at tutoring me. And whether or not I enjoy fucking you or not isn't my fault. Forgive me for indulging in the only human contact that doesn't involve my father's fist colliding with my face!"

He gulped noticeably, his voice just above a whisper this time. "So… he does hit you?"

I gasped, my bottom lip instantly being sucked in between my teeth. I had said too much, and I knew it.

Kakashi walked towards me, his hands rubbing soothingly over my face. "Gaara, honey, answer me."

I chuckled to keep from crying. "Oh, please. Don't pretend to care on my account. You're no different than my father. Now get out of here. I'm sure your girlfriend will be worried sick if you don't get home soon."

Kakashi leaned in to kiss me. Even though I tired pulling away, he managed to catch my lips in a deep kiss.

That night as I served dinner my father kept staring at me. Once I passed by him, he grabbed my forearm to stop me.

"Did…did I do that?" he asked referring to the new bruises on my face.

I shook my head and tried walking away, but my dad was still holding on to me.

"Did you leave the house?"

Why couldn't he just drop this?

"No," my voice came out just above a whisper.

"Then what the fuck happened?"

I gulped. Would Kakashi get in trouble if I told the truth? Well, I knew I'd get in trouble if I didn't.

"Mr. Hatake."

My father got up and dragged me out of the room so fast, that all I could do was stumble after him. We ended up in his study, the door locked behind me.

"What did you do?" he growled.

I stammered, unsure of what to say.

"Well, you must have done something! The man wouldn't hurt you just because he felt like it," he screamed, making me cry.

I was scared, and I couldn't think straight. "Answer me!" he yelled.

I swallowed the knot in my throat and sniffled. "I…may have yelled back at him."

"Well, did you or didn't you?"

I nodded. I crashed back against the door, whimpering as my dad slapped me. "Why?"

"I-I…he, uh—"I couldn't stop crying.

My dad slapped me again, and then grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. "What did he do?"

"He told me he has a girlfriend." Another slap.

I fell down to my knees, unsure of how much more of this I could take.

"You have got to be kidding me! You yelled at him because he has a girlfriend? He's a man! He's allowed to have a girlfriend. You are an idiot!" he kicked me down onto my stomach.

He was about to kick me again when a frantic knocking distracted him. "What?"

"Dad, please stop," it was Temari.

"Shut up Temari! Stay out of this!"

The beating continued without a second thought. All I could hear was my head hitting the wall behind me, and Temari's screams.

"Dad, stop it!" she continued to scream, and pounded on the door.

He exhaled sharply, kicked me out of the way and swung the door open. Temari was in tears.

"Go away," he hissed.

"No! I'm so tired of the way that you treat him."

"Shut up Temari!"

"No! Why can't you just be a father?"

I started to cry harder when I heard him slap her. "No," I whined, coughing as I choked on the blood in my mouth.

"You shut up!" he yelled in my direction," As for you. Go back and finish your dinner. You may be over eighteen, but you still live in my house and you will obey me!"

Temari set her jaw, turned on her heel and walked away. I really wish she hadn't tried to stop him. My father went all out for me after she left. He tore my shirt off, positioned me on all fours, and beat me with the metal end of his belt. Moving meant he'd beat twice as hard and that he'd move down the back of my legs. I tried not to cry out, because I knew Temari and Kankuro would be able to hear me from the kitchen. But the pain was beyond unbearable. He kept hitting the same places over and over until blood started running down my elbows. The pain made me sick to my stomach, and nausea was something I couldn't deal with at the moment. I began to heave and gag along with the groans and the tears. But before I could get sick all over his floor, it stopped. I flinched as the belt fell to the floor next to me.

"Get up."

I could barely move, let alone stand up and walk away. I sighed and attempted to stand on my feet. Apparently I moved to slow for my dad's taste. He grabbed me by the hair and straightened me up.

"Go get your sister," he grumbled.

I clenched my jaw to keep from crying and walked out of his study. Once I reached the sink, I could see Temari. She was sitting with her legs crossed as she gnawed at a finger nail, her food untouched. I then managed to get your attention and motioned her over without Kankuro seeing me.

She nearly ran up to me. "What happen—Oh, my God," she covered her mouth and turned away.

"He wants you," I whispered.

When Temari turned back around I noticed she had been crying. She nodded and walked past me. I followed her, wincing at the throbbing pain on my back. Our father was sitting on his chair behind his desk.

"I need you to do something for me," he said as soon as he saw her.

She didn't say anything.

"I need you to clean him up," he mumbled, examining one of his nails.

"Alright, come on, Gaara," she turned as if to leave.

"No, you'll be doing it in here. You're gonna need a few things. Grab a bowl of warm water, a rag, and the salt."

Temari and I gasped. "No," she said firmly.

"Are you choosing to disobey me?"

Temari stood up straight, squaring her shoulders. "Yes, I believe I am."

He laughed. "Gaara, lock the door and bring me my belt."

"Wait, what are you gonna do?" Temari asked, anxious.

"Well, since you won't do as I say, maybe seeing Gaara in pain will…soften you up a bit," he laughed again.

I tried to keep from whimpering. Temari sighed, "I'll go get what I need."

Why was it that I lost in every situation? Hating me, denying me food, and beating me didn't seem enough for one day's work according to my father. Now, he had to make both my sister and me suffer by making her clean me up with fucking salt water. Salt water! I took a deep breath. God, this was going to hurt really badly.

I knew Temari had walked back into the room when I heard her sniffle and m dad chuckle.

"Oh, you kids. All this caring for each other shit is really making me a little nauseous. Clean him up already, would you?"

"Go sit over there honey." Temari pointed at a chair at the other end of the room.

"No. Gaara, go bring the chair and set it right in front of my desk. I want to see your face when the salt touches your wounds…"

I grit my teeth, quietly doing as I was told. I was soon seated right across from my father, my head hung low. I could hear Temari preparing the water from somewhere behind me.

"More," my dad bellowed.

Temari gave a little whimper. I knew she was about to start.

I flinched when she reached over and cupped my jaw, and gently kissed the top of my head. "I'm so sorry baby. I'll try and do this as fast as possible. I'm so sorry," she whispered, letting go of me and dipping the rag into the water.

I gripped the edge of the chair, bracing myself. The first stroke hurt, but so far it was just a little bit. I could handle this.

"Scrub Temari, I hope you don't want him to get an infection," my father's voice was smooth, smug.

I groaned as she did it again, and again. I yelped when she reached the middle of my back. That spot held the worse of the injuries. Not even five minutes since she began, and I was unsuccessfully biting back tears, writhing. The room felt cold all of the sudden, and I could not stop shaking.

"Oh, God!" I cried out, not able to repress the pain any longer.

I could hear my father chuckling from behind his desk, and Temari crying as she cleaned me up with shaking hands. After twenty long minutes, she was finally finished. I could barely sit upright, and the shaking had not subsided.

"Now, put on your shirt and go to bed," he demanded.

"But it'll stick! Dad, don't do this," Temari pleaded.

Why didn't she learn? Couldn't she stop trying to save me just once? Didn't she realize it only made things worse?

"Well let's hope that Gaara doesn't move in his sleep. Now get out," he motioned toward the door.

I got up, picked up my shirt and followed Temari out of his study.

"Honey, go upstairs and I'll—"

"No, Temari. Can you please, just stay out of it next time? He loves to make both me and you miserable. And his greatest weapon against you is me. I'm tired of it too, believe me. Do you think I like having my father hate me and beat me everyday?" I started to cry," You want to help me? Then don't. Ignore him, ignore me. It makes things easier for me. Now, if you don't mind I have dishes to do."

Temari reached out to me, wanting to hug me, but pulled away. She broke into tears, her frame shaking with every sob. I couldn't handle seeing her cry so I just walked away and went to go clean the kitchen.

As I was getting ready for bed, I heard a light knock at my door. I walked up to it and leaned in close.

"Who is it?" I whispered, not wanting to wake anyone up.

"It's me. Can I come in?" Temari whispered back.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Sure."

I walked back towards my bed and sat down. Temari stepped in, closing the door as quietly as she possibly could.

"What do you want Temari?" even after I told her to leave me alone, she insisted on checking up on me.

"I just…Are you okay?" she focused on her feet, her hands linked behind her back.

I shrugged. Then I groaned. Moving my shoulders was a bad idea. "Well, I'm alive aren't I?"

Temari walked up to me and knelt down at my feet. "I brought a few things."

She set down some medical dressing and antibacterial ointment. "You're going to have to remove them before he wakes up though. I don't want him finding out I did this."

"Then don't do it."

Temari looked up at me, her eyes welled up with tears. "Can you truly expect me to just walk away from you? You're part of my family and I love you. Now, lay on your stomach."

After dressing me, she handed me two white pills. "They're for—"

"The pain, I know." I tossed them in my mouth and swallowed.

"Get some sleep," she carefully pulled the blanket up to my shoulders.

I remained on my stomach, hugging onto the pillow I rested on.

"Is that okay? It doesn't bother your injuries I hope."

"It's fine. Thank you, Temari."

"Goodnight," she whispered and kissed the top of my head.

I made sure I woke up early the next day in order to remove the bandaging as Temari had instructed. During the night, I had forgotten about the whole thing and managed to lie on my back for about two seconds before the pain kicked in. I fit my fist, trying not to cry out. The pain of removing the bandages was nothing compared to the actual infliction of the lashes I had received last night.

My back and shoulders were sore with this intense, throbbing ache that barely allowed me the use of my arms. As I stood doing the dishes that morning, I couldn't help but shriek as my dad passed me by and slapped me on the back. It was suddenly hard to breathe, and I would have fallen to my knees if I hadn't grabbed onto the sink.

"I noticed some of the bandages missing…" he whispered, pulling my head back by my hair.

Tears rolled down to my temples. "No, I-I…"

Now I really couldn't breathe. He had let go and I had fallen full force onto my back. I rolled on my side, hoping to relieve the pressure and the pain. Oh, god the pain! I grit my teeth and sobbed when my dad shoved his foot against my chest, applying more pressure.

"Stop!"

The voice surprised me.

* * *

hey, i gotta leave some kind of hook :)


	5. Chapter 5

But You're Still Magic

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I had a little free time at work today. So, I decided that I should post a little something. I had an entry saved, but I left my flashdrive at home. This was written up in a matter of minutes, practically off the top of my head. Even while my boss's puppy gnawed at my jeans. I hope I can post some more soon. But I doubt it. Sorry & thanks.

* * *

Chapter 5

_"Stop!"_

_The voice surprised me._

I looked up to find my brother, Kankuro. His entire frame was trembling, "Why must you insist on treating him like an animal? He's your son!"

Our father gawked, speechless. I supressed a cough, but the small sob I was also trying to contain managed to slip by. Kankuro took a step closer to me.

"Get up," he instructed.

Hesitantly, I got to my feet and stood off to the side.

"Touch him again...and I personally will call the police."

My chest filled with emotion. Why did Kankuro suddenly decide to step in? My body tensed when I felt him put his arm around me, "Let's go," he muttered.

I was sure father wouldn't allow this. But we were heading towards Kankuro's car and still father hadn't stopped us.

A half hour had gone by. Kankuro and I were sitting on a picnic table at a local park. Kankuro had bought sushi and I could help but notice him watching me as I scarfed down the rolls.

"I'm sorry," I hung my head, embarassed.

"Why?"

"I'm probably grossing you out, aren't I?"

Kankuro shook his head. "Not at all. It just upseting to see how hungry you are."

I felt like disappearing. I cleared my throat, my fingers pulling at a loose thread on the jacket Kankuro had let me borrow. We hadn't had time to get fresh clothes from my room, so Kankuro let me borrow his jacket to hide the blood stains on my T-shirt.

"Why'd you do it?" I whispered.

"What do you mean?" Kankuro chewed his food.

"You've never stepped in before. What was different this time?"

Kankuro didn't answer me for a long time. I was afraid he wouldn't answer me at all. "I..." my heart lurched. I was going to get an answer.

"I don't know," Kankuro mumbled.

I felt the familiar sense of disappointment settle in. Kankuro sighed. "I guess I was just tired of being afraid. Our father threatened Temari and I. He doesn't like us getting involved. But I saw how he's been treating you lately. I'm so sorry. I was never brave enough to stand up for my little brother. But things will change. I promise."

I didn't realize I had been crying until Kankuro reached over and wiped my face. I was too afraid to hope, "It's not going to work."

"Don't you trust me?"

I groaned. "It's not that. This is my life. Hoe can someone's life just...change? I know nothing else, Kankuro. I'm used to being afraid, used to hurting. Being taken advantage of is as much a part of me as my god-damn red hair. Anything different scares me more than father."

Kankuro's eyes welled up with hot tears. "Bullshit. You don't need to be going through this crap. You may be afraid, but believe me I will be there. I'm going to help you, Gaara. So will Temari. I need you Gaara. Not as a housekeeper, but as my baby brother."

* * *

I know it's short, but it's something. Not happy? Oh, well. Learn to appreciate things, kids 33


	6. Chapter 6

But You're Still Magic…

A/N: It's good to be back I really hope you all enjoy this chapter. When I "saved" this story in my flash drive, I lost A LOT of material. I had it completely finished. But now I have to re-write everything. It will take some time, not as much as before, but I will get this story finished. Again, enjoy.

* * *

Chapter Six

_"…I need you Gaara. Not as a housekeeper, but as my baby brother."_

I bit my lip to keep from crying. "Thanks," I choked out.

Kankuro chuckled and sighed before speaking again. "Okay, enough with the emotions. How's school going? Or tutoring, whatever the hell it's called."

"Fine. My grades are pretty good. But what do you expect from a push-over tutor? He's nice though."

"Too nice, if you ask me," he scoffed.

I grinned, oblivious to what he was getting at. "Wait, what?"

"I know…what that asshole makes you do," Kankuro whispered, his hands curled into tight fists in the table.

I gulped. "What?" I could feel myself blushing.

"Gaara, I know you're," he coughed, "sleeping with him."

I looked away, my jaw slightly dropped. "No, no… it-it's not—"

"I heard you."

My face burnt up, and the sushi was suddenly threatening to come back up. "Please tell me you're kidding."

Kankuro shook his head. "I had come home early from school. I had left…something back in my room. Gaara, please believe me when I say I didn't mean for this to happen. I thought you'd be doing homework, reading, or I don't know, cleaning! But I heard him talking. I could hear what was going on. At first, I thought you had let him bring someone over, but I heard your voice."

I sunk into my seat, completely embarrassed. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Well, it's not usually the easiest thing to say. It's hard for me even now."

We were quiet for a while before he spoke again. "Why are you doing it?"

"I have to," was all I could say.

"Is he making you do this, Gaara? We can always go talk to the police. I mean we can tell dad? Does he know?"

I swallowed hard. "Yeah, he knows. He's the reason why I have to do it. In fact, Mr. Hatake is the reason why he hit me last night."

"What?" I tried shushing Kankuro.

"Look, Kakashi, that's Mr. Hatake, he's not my first choice as someone I want to, I don't know, be with I guess. Not that I have many options, much time or freedom to date. I wanted to get rid of Kakashi in order to start…seeing someone else. When he told me he had a girlfriend I flipped."

Kankuro stopped me. "Hang on, I'm so lost. Why don't you tell me everything?"

I gulped. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. And so, as we sat at the park picnic table, I told him everything. I told him about overhearing our dad and Kakashi talking right before he raped me. I told him about Sasuke and about why I had given in to Kakashi. I told him about my feelings for Sasuke, about kissing Sasuke and then about why the fact that Kakashi had a girlfriend bothered me.

Kankuro slammed his fist down on the table, making me jump a little. "That fucking asshole!"

I shushed him again. "There are kids in the vicinity. Keep it down."

"Don't worry about it. Things are going to change. Okay?"

He grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at him when I said nothing. "Okay?"

I sighed and pulled away. "Sure."

"Gaara…" I looked up at him.

"You need to trust me. I'll make it all stop. I'll talk to him. Do you trust me?"

I bit my lip before nodding. "Yeah." I hope so.

My father stayed locked in his study all day and night. Temari made dinner for once, and they both forced me to eat at the table. I was so paranoid. I kept looking over my shoulder, expecting to see my dad break down his door and charge at me any second. But he didn't. I was then told to go watch some T.v. That was amusing. I hadn't watched T.v. in years. Temari walked in and smiled as she watched me as laugh at something I saw. Kankuro did the dishes and then I was sent to take a shower.

After changing into fresh pajamas, and after Temari bandaged me up again, I meekly asked if I could use the phone. I was so sure they'd say no, that I was already planning on what to do after they answered me.

"I don't mind," Temari shrugged, and looked over at Kankuro, "You?"

"Fine by me. As long as he's in bed by 10:30."

Temari and Kankuro walked out as I stayed behind in the kitchen.

"Hello?" Sasuke's voice was such a relief to hear.

"Hey, it's Gaara."

"H-Hi! How are you? Wait, you're calling me. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's great actually. I just wanted to see how you're doing?"

Sasuke chuckled. "Well, you know me. Jolly as ever."

I smiled. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too. Am I gonna see you anytime soon?"

I sighed. "I doubt it. My dad…decided to dish out some of his tough love last night. It'll take a while for me to feel like myself again."

"Well, can I come over?"

"No!" I sighed feeling guilty for yelling, "Sorry, I-I mean. No, you have school."

"Well, I can miss a day. It's not like I'm gonna flunk for missing a day."

"I have classes too though. And I don't know how Kakashi will react to having you here."

"You can call me after he leaves. Please, I have to see you."

"Sasuke, please, I just—I don't want you to see me like this."

"Gaara…please," he added a little whine to his voice, making my lower stomach twinge a bit.

"I'll see what I can do. Look, I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I- I love you."

"Thanks, Gaara. I love you too." I held my breath, holding the phone against my ear even after he had already hung up. Finally I replaced the receiver back to its place.

Temari and Kankuro came to knock on my door after my phone call with Sasuke. Temari sat on my bed, a light blush on her cheeks.

"So, don't be mad, but Kankuro tells me you have a crush."

I grinned and looked down, trying to hide me own blush. "Uh, well, yeah."

"What's his name?"

I gasped. "You know?"

She nodded and kissed my cheek. "I think it's cute. Now, go on tell me."

"Sasuke. I used to go to school with him. He was the only kid that didn't make fun of me for my red hair."

"Sasuke…Uchiha?" she asked.

I nodded. "Did you know him?"

She shook her head. "I knew his brother, Itachi. I dated him for like a week."

I laughed. "No way! What happened?"

Kankuro scoffed. "Since when did you start dating?"

She clicked her tongue and shoved him off the foot of my bed. She smiled when I laughed. "He was kind of creepy. I don't know, not my type I suppose."

I nodded. "He disappeared, you know."

Temari frowned. "How long ago?"

I shrugged. "Not long. Sasuke's parents died and he left Sasuke all by himself. He's living with a foster mom now."

She gasped, and covered her mouth. "Poor boy."

"He's great though. Really, he is."

Temari leaned in and hugged me.

"Ah, ah, careful," I whimpered, scared she'd hurt me.

"Alright, good night. Here, take these," she placed two white pills in my hand.

"Thanks."

"Night, kid," Kankuro kissed the top of my head before they both went off to bed.

Kakashi seemed to have forgotten all about what he had done to my face. As soon as he walked in he grabbed me and pulled me in for a kiss, meanwhile ignoring my cries for him to stop and that it hurt for him to hold me so tight.

"What is up with you?" he asked simply, chuckling at my "silly" behavior.

I swallowed down hard, my insults for him going down as well. "I'm a bit sore. Just…be careful. It-It really hurts."

We went over school stuff for about three hours. He then took me right there on the couch. Thankfully he kept the fact that I was hurting in mind and took me from behind, not once touching my back. After he left, I went to take a shower to get him off, changed, and ran downstairs to call Sasuke.

"Hey," I greeted, a little out of breath.

"Hi, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just…Did you still want to come over today?"

Sasuke gasped. "Uh, yeah. Can I?"

I chuckled. "Of course. Do you remember how to get here?"

"Sure I do. I pass your house everyday as I walk to Nana's store."

"Okay. Well, what are you doing? You want to come over now?"

"Yeah! Just let me find my shoes and I'll be right there."

I sighed, feeling excited. "Okay, see you then."

Even though the house was already clean, I looked over it once more just incase I had missed something.

"Oh, crap!" I ran upstairs.

I forgot to clean up my room. My bed was made, but I had clothes thrown by my closet and all of my homework was out. After putting everything away, I flipped the cushions on the couch. I know Sasuke would never know about what happened on them, but I would know.

The doorbell rang a few minutes later. I couldn't help but smile when I found Sasuke standing on the other side of my front door.

"Hi," he grinned.

"Hi. Come on in," I motioned for him to step inside.

I closed the door, and his lips were on mine. Now, mind you, I wasn't used to taking charge. But there was something about Sasuke that brought out something raw and impulsive. Something that demanded authority.

Sasuke groaned as his back hit the wall, his arms pinned up over his head. He kept up, kissing me back just as hard. I pulled back, noting I had bitten his lip.

"I'm sorry."

His arms slid down and around my neck. "It's okay. I don't mind." He pecked my lips gently.

I smirked. "Well, since that's been covered. Do you want anything?"

"That depends. What are my options?"

I sensed what he wanted. And I knew that what Sasuke wanted did not come with ice or a fork and knife. Not unless I was able to sit on a plate without breaking it. I took his hands and led him towards the kitchen. Sasuke sat down at the table.

I leaned against the counter and sighed. "It's between food and something to drink."

"Anything else?" he asked quietly.

"No. I told you about that. As hard as it may be for me, well, for the both of us, I don't want to rush you into anything."

"Well, that's unfortunate. The only appetite that needs fulfilling, you decide to neglect."

"I'm not…neglecting it. I'm putting it on a diet."

Sasuke stood up and walked towards me. "Well…what happens if I sneak a few cookies?"

He had pressed himself against me, causing a stir in my lower stomach. "Then we'll have to start over," my voice came out just above a whisper.

He grinned and brushed his lips along my jaw. "I can live with that."

I licked my lips and gulped. Sasuke was all I had ever wanted. If he kept this up a little longer, I might not have enough in me to resist anymore.

"Please, understand that I have reasons why I don't want to do this. At least not today," I mumbled.

"Not today? Then when? With the way your dad is, I'm lucky to see you once a week."

He was right. But I knew that if he saw what my father had done, he'd freak out. Suddenly, that didn't matter. Sasuke had unzipped my jeans and had a firm grip around my dick. I buckled over, my hands tight around his upper arms. I groaned when he started to slowly work his hand.

"Wait, wait," I meant for it to sound firm, but any sound coming out of my mouth sounded like a moan right now.

Alright, so this could work. Sasuke didn't have to see my dad's latest hissy fit. I picked him up and set him down at the edge of the table. Without any concern about how he felt about it, I pushed him down on the table, yanked his jeans down and took him fully in my mouth. The sounds he made drove me crazy, making me want to make him do it louder. I pulled away not wanting him to cum just yet. I stuck two fingers in my mouth before pushing them inside of him. His expressions were just as good as the sounds he was making. Together they were even better.

"Are you sure about this?" I panted, literally trembling with anxiety to be inside of him.

He flashed me a quick smirk, wrapped his legs around my waist and pulled me into him. My hands slammed flat down on the table as I tried to hold myself up. Technically, this was my first time having sex like this. Usually, this was Kakashi's role. I was experienced enough to know what to do though. I knew how fast and how hard to thrust in order to have Sasuke screaming my name in a matter of minutes. Right before we could finish I switched it up on him by pulling his legs over my shoulders, giving him a new angle. I smiled in between pants as I watching him claw at the wooden table, his entire frame convulsing.

After, Sasuke and I lay on the table, our legs dangling off the side. Not even my back could bother me right now.

"I'm never going to be able to eat dinner on this table without getting hard, ever again."

Sasuke laughed and jumped off. I sat up when I heard him zip up his jeans.

"Let's go to the living room," I suggested, zipping up my own jeans.

I held his hand and lead him through the kitchen and down the hall.

Sasuke gasped. "Gaara…"

I glanced over my shoulder at him. "Hmm?"

"You-you're bleeding."

I stopped and turned around to look at him. "What?"

"There's blood on you shirt. Down by your lower back," he tried turning me around.

"Wait. Uh, I-I…"

He touched my face. "Is that what you didn't want me to see?"

I stammered, trying to come up with something that would keep him from asking to see it. "Well—"

"Did your dad do this?"

"Sasuke, I'm fine. It's just a little scrape," I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling nervous for lying.

"Really? Let me see it then."

I took his hands gently in mine, and looked down at the floor. "I can't do that."

"God, Gaara! Why do you keep me at arms distance? Why won't you let me help you?"

"Because," I sighed, "Because if you see it, you're going to freak out. You're going to panic, and you'll worry, and I…I just don't need anymore pity. I said I'm fine."

"Let me see it or I'm leaving."

I looked up at him, utterly shocked. "Please tell me you're kidding."

Sasuke shook his head. "I'm not kidding."

"Can't we…compromise?"

He chuckled. "No."

"F…Fine. Let's go upstairs. I should probably change my shirt and get some kind of bandaging on."

Sasuke followed me up to my room without another word said. We sat on my bed, a fresh shirt, ointment and bandaging beside us.

"Okay, so I don't know what it looks like. But I can imagine it's pretty bad. Please don't freak out."

Sasuke nodded and so I proceeded to remove my T-shirt. I hissed when he placed a cold hand on my abdomen.

"You're so thin," he whispered, running his hand up to my chest.

I coughed lightly. "If you're gonna insult my boyish charms I rather put my shirt back on."

Sasuke grinned. "Sorry."

"Alright, well, my sister usually does this for me. Do you want to help get this gunk on?"

Sasuke nodded and grabbed the ointment. I didn't miss the suppressed gasp from behind me. I couldn't help but hunch my shoulders, regretting my decision to let him see the wounds. To my surprise, Sasuke said nothing and began applying the slick cream all over.

Finally, I couldn't take his silence. "How does it look?" I asked, chuckling to take off the edge.

Sasuke said nothing, and continued with what he was doing. "Hand me the bandages please," his voice sounded husky.

"Are you okay?" I turned around to find him crying.

"Oh, God, I knew it! Oh, I shouldn't have let you see!" I got up and hugged him.

"I didn't know it was this bad. You said he hit you, but you never mentioned anything like this," he cried.

"I'm sorry. Look, I'll go finish up in the bathroom. J-Just stay here."

"No, I'll do it. I'm sorry. You warned me. I just…I love you and it hurts to know he treats you like this. I hate not being able to do anything to stop him."

I kissed him and wiped away the tears. "I'm fine. I really am. My brother said he'd talk to him. I'm hoping things will change. If not, I'll stop doing stupid shit that gets me in trouble."

Sasuke glared at me. "Can't you just lock yourself in your room or something?"

I laughed. "No, that's impossible. That would be one of those things I would want to avoid."

Sasuke nodded. "Okay, well then turn around so I can finish up."

I pulled away and sat back down.

He kissed me between my shoulder blades once he was done. "You look great from behind."

I laughed. "Just from behind?" I teased.

"Of course not. You're quite handsome. I love seeing your face," his voice became a whisper, "And I love seeing you over me."

I tensed, feeling his hot breath on my shoulder. I turned around to look at him and got a peck on the cheek.

"But your back, your shoulders. Just seeing your muscles move, I don't know." He kissed my shoulder.

"It gets me going a little…" he nipped at my earlobe.

I turned around to face him. "Just a little?" I asked, laying him on his back and kissing him.

He smiled against my lips and shook his head. I wasn't convinced of what he was trying to say until I felt him against my stomach. Sasuke really was turned on just by seeing my shirt off. Well, I wasn't complaining. I got his clothes off, followed by my jeans, and I sat him on my lap facing me. The frown on his face let me know this was new to him. But that was no problem once I lowered him onto me. Sasuke gripped my shoulders and gave little gasps before his eyes slipped closed. He moved with me, allowing me to penetrate deeper.

"Gaara! I'm home."

My lips froze against Sasuke's. "What time is it?" I gasped, still thrusting.

I groaned, knowing we had to stop. Sasuke gripped at my shoulders, "Wait, wait. Just let me…"

I shook my head, pulling out and practically stumbling over to lock my door. Right that second someone had attempted to open it, and ended up crashing against my door instead.

I bit my lip, and turned to motion to Sasuke to be quiet.

Kankuro chuckled. "Dude, can I come in?"

"Uh, no. W-What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"I didn't feel up to it. Jeez, I'm sorry. Can I come in now? I have to tell you something."

"No, Kankuro, can you wait downstairs? Please," I had never heard such desperation in my own voice.

Kankuro was quiet for a little. "Sure I guess. Has anyone told you how weird you—Are you jerking off?"

I slapped my forehead. "No! Please! I'm just…busy."

He laughed. "Sure. Just one more question?"

I couldn't help but growl. Wow, this aggression was starting to scare me. "What is it?"

"Are you palming yourself to that Sasuke kid you told me about, or the sick fuck?" he asked in a hushed chuckle, but Sasuke heard him anyway.

"Oh, my God! Go to the living room, I'll be right there."

Once I heard him start going down the stairs, I turned towards Sasuke. "I-I'm sorry."

He grabbed my hand and slowly coaxed me back into bed. "You told him about me?"

"Yes…" I gulped, unsure if he was okay with that.

Sasuke kissed me as he pulled me down onto him. "That's so sweet." He gasped, grinding himself against me.

I smiled and deepened the kiss.

"So, where were we?" he mumbled.

"Mm…right about…here," he groaned as I pushed inside him again.

Things went much faster this time, but were just as good. After we got dressed Sasuke decided it was better if he went home.

"Are you sure?" I asked, looking over my shoulder as he followed me downstairs.

He nodded. "I don't want to put your brother in an uncomfortable situation. And to be honest it's a little weird for me having him know what just happened," I stopped and turned around to find Sasuke blushing. I pecked his lips, "I'll try and come by again soon. Okay?"

"Ahem."

Kankuro stood close by, his eyes focused elsewhere.

"Hi there," he waved at Sasuke, "I'm Kankuro, Gaara's older brother."

Sasuke stepped past me and stood in front of Kankuro. "I'm Sasuke."

Kankuro stared at the hand Sasuke held out to him. "Is it safe?"

I bit my lip and looked away. How awkward can this get?

To my surprise, Sasuke laughed. "Probably not."

To an ever bigger shock, Kankuro hugged him instead. "It's nice to meet you Sasuke."

"Its great meeting you too," Kankuro let go. "Anyway, I think I should head home."

Kankuro nodded and watched as I walked Sasuke out.

"He was nice," Sasuke said as soon as I closed the front door behind me.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose."

"Well, I hope I can see you again soon. Is it alright if I kiss you good bye or will neighbors talk?"

I smiled. "I'm not worried about the neighbors. But I think Kankuro might be spying on us."

We chuckled quietly, but I allowed Sasuke a small kiss good bye. I had never been publicly affectionate in front of my siblings, and I was shy to start now.

I was tackled in a huge hug as soon as I walked back inside.

"He's awesome! Kind of short, but I like the kid. Wait until Temari meets him!"

I pulled away. "She's not going to. It's lucky that you did. He's never coming back here, Kankuro. It's too risky."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, today you came home early. But what if some other day it's not you, but dad? He'll kill me. He'll kill us both."

Kankuro said nothing. How could he? He knew I had a point.

I cleared my throat to clear away the tension. "What were you going to tell me?"

"Oh, nothing. It's not even important. I'm starving. Is there anything to eat?" he walked away trying to avoid the topic.

"Kankuro," I said firmly, following after him.

"I went to talk to dad," he mumbled, sounding a bit worried.

I sat down at the table with him, and sighed. I didn't know what to tell him, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know what our dad had said.

"It went really well, incase you were wondering," Kankuro grabbed my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. Suddenly he paused and slowly pulled his hand away and wiping it on his shirt. "I probably shouldn't have done that."

I laughed, "No. But as for it going really well, that phrase could mean something different to me than it does to you."

"He agreed to feed you everyday. Well not feed you himself, but you're allowed to eat. I couldn't get you out of doing chores, so sorry about that."

"So, what? Now we're going to be thins phony family pretending nothing happened?"

"No, he just told me to tell you to stay out of his way. And Temari and I will be responsible for you basically."

I sighed. "What about school?"

"It didn't come up."

I nodded. "Thanks Kankuro. I expected him to blow you off, but this is great."

Kankuro ruffled my hair. "I know I haven't said this enough, but I really do love you Gaara."

I didn't want to choke up, but that was pretty much inevitable. I got up and hugged him. "I love you, too. Ah! Watch the back."

I sat back down and things got unusually quiet. I looked up to find Kankuro trying to stifle a laugh.

"What is it?" I asked.

He burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I tried to be mature about this, but I can't believe you and that Sasuke kid." Ha laughed again.

I sank in my chair, embarrassed and a little surprised. Kankuro waved his hand at me and apologized again for laughing.

"It's not funny, I'm just happy for you I guess. It's weird though, thinking that my baby brother is getting laid more often than I am."

I coughed, feeling uncomfortable with the conversation. Kankuro punched my arm lightly in brotherly affection.

"Look, if you want us to get along better, you're going to have to get used to the dirty talk. It's what brothers do. It's basically a rule."

I grinned at him. "It doesn't bother you that I don' like girls?" I asked, apprehensive about his answer.

Kankuro shook his head. "It doesn't bother me or Temari. To each his own, kid. As long as you're happy."

I smiled wide. "I am. I just need to find a way to get rid of Kakashi."

He frowned. "Kakashi?"

"Mr. Hatake, my tutor."

Kankuro huffed and rested his arms on the table. "Oh, him. I hate that guy."

"Don't say that. He's really not that bad. He's just sort of annoying, and I don't want Sasuke sharing me with him, you know?"

"We'll think of something." He leaned over and hugged me.

After our talk, Kankuro headed upstairs to take a nap. I decided it was a good time to get a little cleaned up. I washed my hands for the sake of being sanitary, but to be honest I loved being able to have Sasuke's scent on me. After getting cleaned up, I went downstairs to start on dinner. Kankuro came down to join me a little while later.

"What are you making?"

"Spaghetti. I'm being a little lazy today, so I thought I'd go with something easy."

Kankuro simply nodded. I grinned at him. "What's wrong?"

"Dad's gonna be home soon. I'm sure it will be fine. But I hate that it's come to this."

I bit my inner lip. "I'm sorry."

"For what? It's not your fault."

I scoffed. "Isn't it? Every problem seems to involve me, or at least revolve around me."

"Gaara-"

"Stop. It's okay. I'm just being a little dramatic I guess." I turned off the stove and went to go sit with him.

"Do you think he's going to want me to serve the food?"

Kankuro waved his hand at me. "I'll take care of that. I don't want to risk anything. Just go do some homework and I'll call you down when it's safe."

I nodded." Kankuro…"

He looked up at me. "Yeah?"

I gulped, emotion welling in my throat. "Thanks. It's really good to have you back as my brother."

He smiled and kissed the top of my head. "It's good to be back."

* * *

Aah! It's been a while since I've posted any kinky scenes. It makes me feel a little naughty. Hope you all liked. I'm really enjoying being back in the scene.


	7. Chapter 7

But You're Still Magic

**A/N: The end is near.**

* * *

Chapter Seven

That night, I stayed in my room until my dad went to bed. It wasn't long after I heard my dad's bedroom door close, when there was a light knock at my own door.

"Come in," I set down the book I was reading.

Temari stepped into my bedroom. "Hi, honey." She flashed me a warm smile. I sat up crossing my legs and smiling back at her. Temari kissed the top of my head before she sat on my bed.

"How was your day?" she asked, picking a piece of lint off my shoulder.

I gave her a tiny, one-shouldered shrug. "Okay…" Understatement of the year.

I looked down and noted that I had been gripping the sheets she was sitting on only hours before, Sasuke's body on top of me.

I cleared my throat. "Eventful."

"How's Mr. Hatake treating you? Kankuro tells me he doesn't really care for him, although he didn't say why." Kankuro's silence offered me a bit of relief.

I shrugged. "Okay…"

Temari smiled. "Sorry, I know I must be pestering you. I just love you is all." She kissed the mark on my forehead.

I smirked, feeling emotion swell up in my throat. I knew Temari loved me, but I had just realized how consistent she had been all these years. I got to my knees and hugged her. "I love you too Temari. More than you know. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For always sticking up for me. You were the only one for a long time." I gulped down the lump in my throat.

Temari wiped fresh tears from the corners of her eyes. "I will always stick up for you. No matter what, I will always be there."

That night, my dreams were filled with Sasuke's image. With all the activity going on in my brain, it was a wonder how I woke up feeling so rested. I got out of bed, stretched and headed straight for the shower. I distracted, thinking about Sasuke as I walked those few steps towards the bathroom. I didn't notice as the door swung open, revealing my father. I froze my eyes wide, my heart hitched in my throat.

My dad had his brows pulled together as he stood, seething. I let out a tiny whimper when he gripped my jaw with one hand. "Get out…of my face," he growled, pushing me to the ground.

He stepped over me and walked away. I sat, tears flowing. He hadn't really hurt me. I was mostly scared. I waited a few long minutes for my heart to get back to a normal rhythm in order to get up and into the shower. I stood under the warm cascade and rubbed my jaw. It felt a bit sore, but it wasn't so bad. I placed one hard against the cold tile and hung my head, letting the hot water relax the muscles in my neck. I needed to mentally prepare myself for dealing with Kakashi this morning. Just the thought of him annoyed me today. After shampooing my hair once and giving my entire body a quick scrub, I shut the water off and proceeded to dry myself. I paused when I heard the doorbell ring.

I sighed. "Fuck," I cursed under my breath.

Kakashi was here. I heard the front door open, and muffled voices. I wrapped towel around my waist and walked back to my room. There was a knock on my door as I was getting dressed.

"Just a minute," I called out. I had just gotten y boxers on and was barely pulling some jeans on. I had just gotten the slightly tight jeans past my thighs when my door opened. "Hey! I said just a min-"

"There's nothing I haven't seen before." Kakashi grinned.

I cocked an invisible eyebrow. Kakashi was dressed unusually casual. He had on a fitted black T-shirt and some dark blue jeans. I scoffed, "Right. What's with the clothes?"

"We're going out today."

I chuckled. "We're going out. Out where?"

"On a field trip."

This caused me to laugh harder. I buttoned my jeans and reached for my T-shirt. "Is this in your curriculum Mr. Hatake?"

"Back to the formal names?" he shoved his hands in his front pockets.

I rolled my eyes. "I was being sarcastic. And I'm tired. I'm not really in the mood for a field trip."

"I already asked your father. We're going."

I ran my fingers through my wet hair. Kakashi stood in front of me as I tried to move towards my closet. I frowned. "Excuse me?"

Kakashi snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me close. I stiffened, but otherwise didn't fight back. Kakashi kissed me, gently at first and then he got a bit rougher. He gnawed at my bottom lip, biting down a little too hard. I groaned and attempted to pull back. Kakashi's grip tightened around my waist. I wedged my arms between us and managed to get him to stop kissing me.

"Must you start that so early in the day?"

He nodded. "You still taste like toothpaste."

I managed to free myself from Kakashi and I went to get some shoes on.

"We're alone."

My body tensed. "What do you mean?"

"We're the only ones left in the house."

I turned to glare at him, my arms crossed over my chest. "I know what you're getting at."

Kakashi laughed. "It's not like it was a secret."

"Look, can I make you a deal?"

Kakashi sat on the edge of my bed and said nothing. I carried on with my proposition. "If I give you what you…want, can you just go home after? I don't want to go out."

"Give me what I want? Gaara, I can take what I want."

I let out a shaky breath. My voice cracked. "I know," I inhaled slowly. "But correct me if I'm wrong," I walked up to Kakashi, placing my hands on his shoulders and pecking his lips, "it's much better when I cooperate."

Kakashi looked up at my, eyebrow cocked, and licked his lips. Suddenly, and quite roughly, he grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him. "You have a point," he whispered.

I gulped, willing my plan to work. Having sex with Kakashi wasn't what I had in mind as a pleasant experience. Especially, since he started getting a bit rougher with me. Apparently, his girlfriend was quite frustrating in bed. But on the other hand, it was my only bargaining chip.

I kissed Kakashi again, suckling on his bottom lip. The man groaned, pulling me against his swollen crotch. He kissed me and then briefly stopped to remove my t-shirt. He marveled at my smooth skin. He licked his lips and pulled me in for a painful kiss. I grit my teeth as he began to inflict even more pain. He bit down on my chest, drawing a droplet of blood. He licked it away, pulling me onto his lap. Kakashi went for another kiss, but I pulled back.

"Do we have a deal?"

He grinned. "I want you all in. Do you understand me?" I didn't say anything. "After, I will go home. I promise."

I nodded. "Okay."

I was nervous about this now. Kakashi laid me down against my pillows and began to lick a hot trail down my chest. I tensed, the rough tongue now at my waistband. I could feel my lower muscles begin to tighten. Kakashi unbuttoned my jeans, pulling them off with ease. I rolled my eyes, wondering why I had even bothered to get dressed this morning. I knew he was going to want to have sex eventually. I threw my head back, gasping. I had not expected Kakashi to take me fully into his mouth. My fingers tangled in his hair, tugging. I bit down on my bottom lip, attempting to suppress a few moans. Kakashi's tongue was driving me crazy. He pulled away before I could release.

"You know, sometimes I still question your age. You are way too big for a sixteen year old."

I panted, wrapping my hand around the back of his neck. "Sixteen and a half."

He let out a gasped chuckle. "Either way, I'm going to have fun with this." He stuck two fingers in his mouth.

I cried out, in pain and in shock.

[TWO HOURS LATER]

I had just walked Kakashi out. My entire body was sore. I held my breath as I climbed the stairs, the pain shooting from my thighs up my back. This slight limp was going to be hard to explain. I just hoped everyone ignored it. I sighed, relieved when I was finally able to lie down. I had to lie on my stomach in order to keep from hurting myself further. But I knew I couldn't stay like this for long. I had to wash my sheets, and I needed to do some cleaning. My mind was hazy as I slipped into unconsciousness. I was post-coital, and I was exhausted. Just my luck, the phone was ringing in the kitchen.

I got up, and even though my body protested by registering more pain, I ran downstairs. I was groaning when I answered the phone.

"Ow! Hello?" I was a bit flustered.

"Uh, Gaara?"

"Yeah. Who' this?"

I heard a chuckle on the other end. "Your worst nightmare, bitch."

I grinned. "Hey, Kankuro. Why are you calling?"

"I'm outside."

My eyes widened. "Did-Did you see?"

"Your stupid fuck of a teacher? Yeah, I saw him. He took a while to leave. You okay?"

I sighed. "I could be better."

"I'm coming inside." Kankuro didn't wait for my reply.

I had gone back upstairs to throw my soiled sheets to wash. I heard the front door open, and even though I knew it was my brother, a familiar pang of fear washed over me.

I found Kankuro at the kitchen table. "Hey," he greeted as he saw me. Kankuro watched me as I walked up to him. I winced when I sat down. Kankuro was frowning when I looked up. "You're limping."

I ducked my head, embarrassed. "I know…"

"Why?"

"Kankuro…you know what happened. Please don't make me say it." I spoke in a low whisper.

"That sick fuck. We need to get rid of him."

"Well, what are you gonna do? Kill him? That's the only way we can get rid of him."

Kankuro paused, as if mulling over the idea. "Kankuro! We are not going to kill him!"

"Of course not! But you gotta admit, the idea sounds pretty tempting."

I laughed. Kankuro smiled when I did. I wiped the side of my face, self-conscious. "What?"

"It's been a while since I've heard you laugh. I had almost forgotten how it sounded. All this time, Gaara. What have we done to you?" He bit back tears.

I got up and hugged Kankuro. "Nii-san. Don't be sad."

Kankuro froze at the term. It had been years since I had called him that. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tighter. "It just hurts me to see you in such pain. I could have done something about it sooner. We all could've."

"That's not what matters. The point is, eventually, you did do something."

Kankuro nodded and kissed my forehead. I giggled, attempting to lighten the mood. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"Yeah. I got bored though."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you hungry?" We both laughed when his stomach growled, answering my question. "Sandwich sound okay?" He nodded.

I reached into the refrigerator, pulling out the necessary ingredients. I pulled out six slices of bread, four for Kankuro and two for me. I got to spreading mayonnaise and mustard on them.

"I'll be right back. I need to use the bathroom." I nodded, listening as he went upstairs, taking two steps at a time.

I licked some off some mustard that rubbed off on my hand. The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" I called out.

I was humming tunelessly as I opened the front door. "Hello."

A woman I had never seen before stood in front of me. She flashed me a broken smile. "Hello, honey. Is your father home?"

I shook my head. "No, ma'am he's not. My dad's at work right now. Would you like to leave a message or something? Did he know you were coming?"

My chest filled with a bit of panic when she got teary-eyed. "You've grown."

I frowned. "Excuse me?"

"You don't know who I am, do you?"

I shook my head. "Am I supposed to?"

She laughed. "I guess not. But I thought someone would have mentioned me by now."

I was utterly confused. "Who are you?"

"My name is Cho," she stroked my cheek. "And I'm your grandmother."

* * *

**A/N: Don't hate me.**


	8. Chapter 8

But You're Still Magic...

**A/N: End is even closer. Sorry if a few things seems confusing. For the sake of the plot just roll with it :)**

* * *

Chapter Eight

_"My name is Cho," she stroked my cheek. "And I'm your grandmother."_

My jaw would have dropped off if it had not been connected to my skull. "W-what?"

"Your grandmother, Gaara, I'm your grandmother. I'm your mother's mom."

I nodded. "I know. I-I…" my breath was hitched in my throat. Suddenly, I took a closer look. Cho had the same mint green eyes I did. Emotion bubbled in my chest. "Did you want to come in?"

She smiled a sweet smile. "If that's okay with you."

I nodded. "Of course! Please, come in." I stepped aside and let her walk into our home.

I led her to the kitchen. "Would you like anything? Something to drink? I was making sandwiches for Kankuro and I. Maybe a sandwich?" I blushed. I was offering my grandmother a sandwich.

She shook her head. "No, thank you. I'm okay for now. Why don't you sit with me? I want to take a closer look at you."

I sat at the table with her, my hands fidgeting on my lap. I tensed when she reached out and touched my cheek.

"I remember when you were just a baby. You had the biggest most beautiful green eyes the world had ever seen."

I ducked my head, embarrassed by her compliment. "Why didn't I know about you before?"

She gave me a tiny shrug. "Your mother and I…grew apart before you were born. But surely someone must have mentioned me."

I shook my head, the sudden feeling of betrayal fresh within my senses. "No. No one mentioned you. I didn't even know I had a grandmother."

"Gaara?"

I turned to look behind me. "Yes?"

"Who is that?" Cho asked, curiosity clear in her tone.

I smiled. "My brother."

It kind of confused me when Cho stood. Kankuro walked into the room. "Who are you talking-"

He stopped, dead in his tracks. "You."

I frowned. "Hello," Cho's voice wavered.

"Get out."

I stood. "Kankuro! Don't speak to her that way."

Kankuro took a few steps closer. "What are you doing here?"

Cho stumbled on her words. "She came to see me," I interjected.

"Sure she did," Kankuro snorted. "Get out."

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" I asked, hurt they had kept this from me.

Kankuro ignored my question. "If you don't leave in the next five seconds, I'm going to call Temari and then I will call the police."

My stomach dropped. "What? What's going on?"

Cho didn't make a move to leave, so Kankuro began to dial. "Hello? Yes, may I speak to Sabaku Temari please? Thank you." There were a few silent seconds. "You're never going to believe who's here."

I turned towards Cho. "If this is such a big deal, maybe you should go. I can meet you outside of the house."

She shook her head. "No need. This is my house too."

"Huh?"

"Fuck you! This is not your house!" Kankuro was still holding the phone, only now it looked like he wanted to hit someone with it. "It ceased to be your home the moment you left!"

"I didn't want to leave. You know that."

"But you did! You abandoned us. And that's all I know."

I could hear Temari yelling from the other end. Kankuro dropped the phone which was now hanging from its cord. I ran to it, picking it up. Big mistake.

"What the hell is she doing there? Get her the hell out!" I pulled the phone away from my ear. That was the only time I had heard Temari yelling because she was angry.

"Temari?"

She gasped. "Gaara? Why would you let her in?"

I could feel my mouth trembling. What had I done? Everyone would be mad at me now. "I don't know. She said she was my grandmother. I just wanted to get to know her." I hadn't realized that I was sobbing. "I'm sorry."

"No, no baby. It's okay. You did nothing wrong. I just wish you would have asked us first."

I nodded, and then realizing she couldn't see me I choked out an, "I know."

"Listen to me Gaara. Are you listening?"

"Yeah…"

"That woman isn't very nice. I need you to help Kankuro get her out of the house okay?"

I looked over at the two quietly arguing.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "But-"

"I know she said she's your grandmother, okay? But please trust me. I'm not comfortable with her being around you while I'm not there."

I sniffled and wiped my face clean. "Alright."

Temari sighed. "Thank you!"

"Bye…" I didn't wait for her response before I hung up.

"Have you told him?" Cho's squared her shoulders.

"What? No. You shut up about that!"

"You haven't told him about his mother?"

"What about my mother?" I asked. I stepped closer. "She died."

Cho laughed. "Dead?" she turned to look at Kankuro. "You told him his mother is dead? Gaara, your mother is not dead."

"What?" I got in between Cho and Kankuro.

"Get out!" Kankuro shouted. I grabbed his arm, trying to keep him calm.

"Kankuro, please-"

"GET OUT!"

"Fine! If that's the way you want to treat me, I'll leave." Cho had crossed her arms over her chest.

"Oh, don't try and act like the victim now, you bitch-"

A silence fell over everyone as a crack echoed throughout the kitchen. Kankuro stood dazed, tears rimming his eyes, a bright red handprint on his cheek.

"You-" he couldn't finish his sentence.

"Yes, I slapped you. You cannot speak to me that way, Kankuro. I know you're angry, but I am still your mother."

Suddenly, darkness engulfed me.

When I woke up, I was on the couch. I tried sitting up but a firm hand pushed me back down.

"I need you to stay down. Temari is on her way."

I looked over at Kankuro, but I could barely see him though my tears. "I don't get it. What's going on?

"Temari is on her way. We'll talk about it when she gets here."

As if on cue, the front door creaked open. I listened for it to close again but it never came. The sounds of heels against the wooden floor in the living room caught my attention.

"How long was he out?"

"About a half hour."

Temari nodded. She sat on the arm chair across from me. I sat up, and Kankuro sat to my side.

"What did he hear?"

"She-"

"Stop talking like I'm not in the room!"

They fell quiet. "I'm sorry. What did _you_ hear?"

"What did I hear? What did- Cho is Kankuro's mother? How can she be his mother if she's my grandmother? We're brothers! I don't understand…" my head fell into my hands as I sobbed.

Temari got to her knees and cupped my face. "I'm so sorry. I just didn't want you to get hurt. It was just easier this way."

"What way? What are you talking about?"

"Temari…I think you should just tell him. It's been long enough."

It surprised me when Temari broke into a heartbreaking sob. "I can't! I just…I can't."

I stood up and kneeled before her. "Temari, what's going on? Please, I am so confused," a few tears spilled from the corners of my eyes, "Whatever it is, it can't be worse than what I've already been through."

She looked up at me, her make-up beginning to run. "Yes it can."

I took one of her hands. "Maybe it can. But we can get through it. You are after all my big sister. You've been protecting me for so long. We can get through it."

She bit down on her bottom lip. "I'm not twenty-three."

I frowned. "Okay. So how old _are_ you?"

"Twenty-nine."

"Hmm…what does that have to do with my grandmother?"

Temari choked on a sob. "She's your grandmother…and my mother."

My heart sank with sudden realization. My voice was barely above a whisper when I spoke again. "Temari…are you telling me…" I couldn't finish my sentence. I fell back onto my bottom, gasping for air.

Temari sobbed into her hands. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! We just thought it would be easier if you didn't know."

"So you lied to me!"

"Technically speaking, yes. But it was for your own good! We didn't want you to live with this kind of chaos, with this burden!"

"Really? Are you sure it wasn't you who wanted to live without it? Without me? All my life…I've hated myself, thinking I had killed my own mother! Dad could have…wait. Who's my father?"


	9. Chapter 9

But You're Still Magic...

****

A/N: Last chapter. Wrote it in less than an hour. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter Nine

_"…wait…Who's my father?"_

Temari sighed. "I was afraid you were going to ask_."_

I sat back down and waited for her answer. Temari began to choke up again, but I was too hurt to attempt to comfort her.

"We all have the same dad," Kankuro whispered from beside me.

I turned to look at him. "What?"

"He took advantage of Temari when she was thirtee—"

"Kankuro, shut up!" I jumped when Temari shouted.

"Well it's true! And I think he's old enough to decide whether or not he wants to know. Don't you?"

"I think so," I cut in quietly.

"I mean, he's a smart kid, he knows more than the average teenager, has been through even more. It only makes sense. We owe him that."

Temari's sobbing got quiet. "Fine. Do you _want_ to know?"

I shrugged. "Might as well. My life couldn't get any more fucked up." I hated how monotone I sounded.

Temari clutched her hands together, her teeth digging into her bottom teeth. "I started to develop at a young age. Eleven. So by thirteen, I looked like a sixteen year old. He had been _touching_ me since I was twelve, but it never went beyond that. A week after I had turned thirteen, I was asleep, and he walked in. It was weird because he didn't turn on the light. And it made me nervous," Temari's voice died out.

I couldn't help myself. I got up and got on my knees in front of her. "He raped you." My voice was barely a whisper.

She nodded, choking on her sobs. I got up and hugged her. I hugged her because I felt that if I didn't she would fall apart. All this time, she had all of this hidden. It was worse than my secret.

"That's not all."

I sat at her feet, holding her hands in my own. Temari continued. "Mom found out. And she stayed throughout the pregnancy, but she couldn't take it. She left two weeks after you were born."

I feel back onto my bottom, the back of my hand covering my mouth. I hadn't realized I was crying until Temari leaned forward and wiped my eyes. I tilted my head, leaning towards her touch.

"It was my fault. I tore this family apart."

"No! Don't you _ever_ say that! I don't regret having you. I love you. If it's anyone's fault, its dad's. Don't blame yourself Gaara."

"Why didn't you leave?"

"I wanted to. But I was so young, and I had no help. Eventually everyone thought you were our brother so I had to stay and watch you so no one would suspect and ask questions. It was so complicated."

"Why does he hate me?"

"Because he still loves mom. In his eyes you were at fault. But it's not. He just didn't want to take the blame. He's angry, and the fact that you have her eyes…it kills him."

I began to sob helplessly. "So he hates me for something I wasn't even a part of. Something I couldn't control. So it's hopeless. He'll never love me."

"You have us," Kankuro's deep voice cut through the silent room.

I turned to look at him and couldn't help but chuckle. He was sitting at the edge of the couch his arms crossed over his lap. He was on the verge of tears, but for some reason it made me laugh.

"I love you guys, but this is so ridiculous. Why can't we go now?"

"I never signed my name on your birth certificate. He didn't let me. So, he has custody of you."

I rolled my eyes. "I can't live like this anymore…"

"What if we spoke to him?" Kankuro was slowly pacing the room now, hands deep in his pockets.

"And tell him what?" Temari and I got up off the floor and sat on the couch.

"I mean, he obviously doesn't want you here. Temari has a right to leave, she's an adult. And I turn eighteen in just a couple of weeks. We don't _have_ to live like this."

"He'll never go for it." Temari's brow puckered.

Kankuro chuckled. "He has to. Gaara is living proof that he raped you. You could threaten him. Tell him you'll go to the police if he doesn't sign Gaara over to you. You know he hates dealing with cops. He'll do it."

I looked over at Temari, eyes wide. _Hopeful_. "It's worth a shot. What's the worst he could do? Hit me?"

She cupped my jaw and kissed the mark on my forehead. "You're so brave. But I wouldn't risk him hurting you again. Not now that he's finally stopped."

"Well I would. I'll ask him. Kankuro has a point. He doesn't want me here."

Temari was silent for a while. "Fine. We'll try."

"Great! Let's go." I stood.

Temari grabbed my wrist. "Now? Are you crazy?"

"Kinda. But think about it, we'll throw this at him in public. He won't be able to go berserk on us."

"I knew you got my brains…" she whispered, standing and kissing my forehead again. She sighed. "When did you get so tall?"

"May we see Mr. Subaku please? We're his children."

The receptionist looked at us, but stopped at me. She frowned and slowly picked up her phone. "Yes. There are three people here. Your…children, apparently."

I grit my teeth. God, she was rude. She looked up at us again. "He's busy."

"Well tell him we're not leaving until he sees us. So you let us in, or we let ourselves in," my voice sounded foreign, even to me. It was too deep, too firm. But I grinned when I felt a gentle squeeze on my shoulder.

The receptionist clenched her jaw, turning her attention to the phone again. I guess our father had heard. "Yes, sir." She looked at us. "He says you can go in. But to make it quick."

Neither of us thanked her as we took the elevator to the fifth floor. All of us were quiet as the doors opened to our destination. I gulped. Temari took my hand, and we stepped out.

Never had I been in our father's office. It was ordinary. I had expected a bit more. He had a desk, stack of paperwork, phone, fax machine and his computer along with two chairs for clients. It was so sterile. No family touches, no plants. So…him.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

"We need something from you."

He scoffed. "When don't you?"

"We never ask for anything. You know that."

He looked up at us, a bored expression on his face. "What do you want?"

"Gaara."

He laughed. "He's standing right next to you."

"I know everything." I tried to keep my mouth shut, but it wasn't cooperating. "And you disgust me. We want you to sign me over to Temari."

He was stunned. "No."

I clenched my jaw. He glared at me. "And _I_ disgust you? You should disgust yourself. You're sleeping with your tutor."

I took a step back, not expecting that topic to have been brought up. "No, that—"

"No? So, you're not sleeping with Kakashi?"

Temari grabbed my face, turning me to look at her. "Is that true?"

Tears welled in my eyes. "Temari…"

"Is it?"

II nodded. She gasped. "Why?"

"I didn't want to. He…made me. They made me. I—"

Our dad laughed. "Sure you still want that sick little boy, Temari?"

"He's my son! Of course I want him! That's the only reason I stuck around. And he's not sick!"

Kankuro was holding me, trying to get me to stop crying. "Sign him over, now. I want a letter with your name, his name, and my name. I want you to state that you are handing over custody to me. You will sign it and date it. We'll make copies. One for me, for you, and the original."

"Or what?"

"I'll tell the police what you did. What you're doing to Gaara."

"You don't have proof."

"Don't we? Gaara is proof enough. For what you did to me, and what you're doing to him. He's covered in bruises, cuts and scars! They'll run a DNA test. They'll get you. Unless, you write the letter and sign him over to me."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try us! Temari and I will vouch for him. We've seen what you do. We'll talk. Now sign!" Kankuro was shaking as hard as I was.

Father pulled out a notepad and began writing. He signed, and turned to notepad towards Temari. She reviewed it and signed as well.

"Come here." I went to her and took the pen she handed me. I signed as well.

Now, because our father was a notary, he was able to stamp the letter and make it official. Now, I was hers. Now…I was free.

The three of us practically ran out of the building. Not even our father's last words could hurt us.

"_I never wanted either of you…"_

Mostly because, in all honesty, we never really wanted to be his. He was an awful person. And now we were free of his hold. I stopped suddenly, everything hitting me at once.

Temari tilted my face up. "What's wrong?"

"I never thought this would happen. I could have sworn I was going to die at his hand."

She hugged me, kissing my cheek. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

[Four Weeks Later]

"No, that box can go on the floor." I set down the box I was holding and walked over to Sasuke.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his soft lips. "I love you."

He grinned. "Good."

I scoffed. Sasuke chuckled. "I love you, too. But do I have to help you unpack now?"

I shook my head. "Now, we rest."

Sasuke and I lay on my new bed, snuggling.

Temari, Kankuro and I had moved out within two days. But at such a short notice, we really had nowhere to go. So we rented some storage for our stuff and Nana had taken us all in. Now, a month after leaving our childhood home, Temari had found a house for us all. It wasn't fancy, but it was perfect. It was a light blue with white shutters, exactly three bedrooms, a fence, a garden and a huge backyard. Temari had bought books on how to keep it the way it was. She had never gardened before. When we first walked in, Temari let me pick my room first. I picked the one at the back of the house. It was spacious and it had a wonderful view. I could leave the window open and stare at the sky. Or at the moon, since now I didn't have a bedtime.

I kissed Sasuke, grateful for all the things that had happened. Sasuke smiled. "What was that for?"

"Are you gonna spend the night? Help me…break in this bed?"

Sasuke laughed, kissing me. "You know it."

"Hey guys—Oh! No! So wrong!" Kankuro turned away, covering his face.

We pulled away, laughing. "What is it Kankuro?"

"Is it safe to look?"

"Yep!"

"Temari wants to go grab something to eat. You guys wanna go?"

"Finally! I've been starving."

Kankuro chuckled and ruffled Sasuke's hair as he passed by him. "Looks like you were getting enough tongue from my brother."

"Oh, my God!" They were walking down the hall now. I couldn't help but stay behind. I wrapped my arms around myself and sighed. Life was, for once, everything I had ever wanted. I grinned.

"You coming?" Sasuke poked his head into my room.

I nodded. "Of course."


End file.
